A Lot Happens in Six Weeks!

Zach of Note

• Still loving video games: FIFA, Dirt Five, and Rocket League
• Playing with the neighborhood kids. They had an idyllic sprinkler/water gun fest with popsicles one Sunday
• Zach the entrepreneur: lemonade stand
• Zach and Athena are friends! From daycare to Lake Anne. I call them A to Z.
• Spring soccer started and Zach went to pre-travel and rec league practices. He really enjoyed it! Going to pre-travel allowed me to meet Adrian’s family. At the end of pre-travel, he was invited to join the Travel Team for 2023-2024. After much family reflection, we signed him up!
• Some spontaneous cleaning and commitment to chores
• Half birthday! 
• The importance of “We can do hard things!”
• Teaching Zach to tie his shoes and new shoes!
• Zach’s yearbook! 

Zach’s Health

• Cough and allergies, especially a stuffy nose!
• Home again one day after a nasty fall on the playground and a cut behind his ear

Sleep Update 

• It’s summer solstice time, and he’s up early. 
• He still likes to sleep with me as many nights as possible. We go with Fri and Sat, mostly.
• Frank sits with him to fall asleep and he comes in to sleep with me during the night…

School

• He enjoyed his after school clubs, Spanish Book/Reading Club and Lego Club 
• Chatty about things he’s learning: Asian Pacific Islander month, Arthur Ashe
• A short field trip to the National Zoo; he took his group to see the seals and sea lions
• Continued conversation about the incident on the bus with the 6th graders; I check in on Zach and make sure he knows that what the boys did was wrong, and we don’t want them to do it to him again or any other kids
• Dolphin Dash and 1st grade tied with 6th as winners of the Penny Wars, so popsicles and ice cream party
• Emailed Zach’s teachers, and I was not a fan of their responses. One was “Zach’s so sweet” (which is, of course, great, but not specific!) and the other was fairly critical. I am assuming positive intent from her and the takeaway is: Zach’s teacher has high expectations for him, and that’s good.  (Zach loves them both, BTW!)
• Helping out with art and the art show
• Blossoming authors poetry reading. Zach was very confident!

Emotions/Empathy Corner

• We’ve forgotten a little bit about Thoughtful Thursdays
• Zach helped with my eye drops when I had pink eye and pink eye and pink eye
• He worked with Siga to replant my Mother’s Day plant, though it died almost immediately
• Zach hung a painting he did of him and Frank in Frank’s office
• Zach's teacher says he sometimes cries and says, "I can't do it."

Zach's Words and Music

• Audio Books: Spy School books
• Podcasts: Game On
• Reading by Zach: Diary of a Wimpy Kid (DWK), Haggis and Tank Unleashed, Tiger and Nightmare, Inspector Flytrap, and more
• Reading to Zach: Treehouse books (26, 91, 130), Stuck in the Stone Age, Lulu, DWK
• Music: continued Kidz Bop Kids songs, dance parties, and music in general. He always enjoys the piano at Kate’s beach house, and he has mentioned the harp (from Each Kindness) and the violin (from a group that came in to play for Sra. Pezo’s birthday)

Family Fun

• Series: Just Add Magic - finished Mystery City; some MC Squared; and a new show Dive Club
• The movie, Feel the Beat
• Mother’s Day brunch at Thompson Italian and trip down to Sperryville (muffins, Hazel River Trail, and Copper Fox)
• Art show at the school
• Family Fun + Kate! Lewes trip! Farmers’ market, bike rides, Monopoly, DQ, Cape Henlopen, sand bar walks, and talks on the porch!

Susan and Zach

• Meals with Zach and a picnic lunch on the back porch
• Dance parties, Kidz Bop Kids, and tennis ball or Ball-y and music
• Dance performance at George Mason and at Reston Town Center - Hacia la Vida
• Briscola and Dominoes
• New art on my wall
• DIY Poster board blackout panels
• Asking Zach regularly about the boys who intimidated/tricked him on the bus - it happened once, and if it happens again, it’s bullying. We don’t want them to bother other kids either! 
• 30-second hugs

Frank and Zach

• Udvar Hazy
• Soccer and Loudoun United soccer game at Segra Field
• Playdate with Teddy and Jewelle at the Great Country
• The pool and the Water Mine
• Pokemon Go
• Legos

Good Food

• Chaatwala vegetarian fare
• Thompson Italian Mother’s Day brunch
• Paneer with veggies and chili pepper flakes and garam masala
• Soy/balsamic tofu
• Mushroom and asparagus cream sauce pasta
• Kale salad
• Rhubarb cakes
• Bartaco squash blossom tacos and sides - Yum!
• Weathervane fare from Lewes Farmers’ Market
• Half Full pizza
• Peanut butter banana smoothies

Connection

• Zach overnighted in Woodstock with Mom and Dad on Memorial Day wknd
• Connected with Mary Kay and Nancy D.
• Regular check-ins with Paige and Emily
• Continued, though kind of sporadic, highs and lows sharing with Kate, MKC, and Kathleen
• Video chat with Ian and Cory A.
• Neighbors, esp Susan and those in our block
• Memorial Day dinner at Auntie Em’s
• Farmer’s market with Mary and Cora
• Lewes with Kate

Frank & Susan

• Lots of sharing: recommitment, communication traps and strategies that work, values and family values
• Almost daily weekday walks, though work meetings disrupted us several weeks
• Micro-date afternoons when Zach goes to the YMCA

Fun and Not So Fun Stuff (Personal and Professional)

Health Corner

• Continued research for the Flat Retreat in the Hudson Valley; Emily is going with me! 
• Colonoscopy scheduling saga
• Lots of doctor’s appointments (breast cancer, Saville, etc.)
• Pink eye in early May and more eye congestion in early June

Personal 

• Continued as an accountability partner with Nicole and Mary Kay 
• Took time off for some of the early May doctor’s appointments. A very good thing!
• Fun planning for vacation through the Manitoulin Islands (hopefully in 2024), finalized 2023 trip to Michigan, including going back up to Lake Superior
• Continued to hang art at the school! :) 
• Dinners outside on soccer nights (I took tea, tahini, peppers, etc. and had a nice meal al fresco while Zach had pre-travel and Academy or just Academy soccer practices)
• Disney, Mama Mia, and Ice Ice Baby when Lindy came over (Tee hee)
• Connecting the feedback I asked for from Zach’s teachers and giving feedback at work and the idea that “feedback is more about the giver than the receiver.”
• Auntie Em's foster kitties

Watching

• Queen Sugar
• Abbott Elementary
• His Dark Materials
• Finished Kim’s Convenience
• XO, Kitty

Reading

• Finished: The Warmth of Other Suns , Ross Gay’s Book of Delights, Quinta Brunson’s She Memes Well
• The Story of Mina Lee
• I Never Thought of It That Way

Listening

• Parenting podcasts - It’s my job to teach, love, and protect; sharing when behaviors don’t align with values
• Coaching for Leaders
• Friendship podcasts, especially one from from A Slight Change of Plans

Not So Fun

• Katy’s dad, Katie’s brother, and Mary Ella
• Combatting my own issues re: reports, tests, and assessments of Zach
• Gift to Jenna (Reston bag and sticker; I’ll be sad to see them go when they leave for Serbia)
• An extremely rare diagnosis for our cousin
• Poor air quality that canceled field day and just generally disrupted

Professional

• Leadership Institute with Leaders Listen to Understand
• Cross Cultural Communications research has been fun
• Updated Belonging module
• Accountability campaign
• Trans Awareness workshop
• Team onsite and Zumba
• I do not love searching for and implementing systems, like LMS; the process has been draining

What’s on my mind/Insights

• Gratitude is working for me and going strong! I’m grateful that the power of emotion and passion helped me advocate for Zach 
• Still tracking daily: gratitude, discomfort (lean into it), something new/scary/out of the ordinary, laugh (this is so much harder than it should be) - fell off a bit on this, but have also leaned into it! For example, when Zach was learning to tie his shoes, I was very uncomfortable with his expressions of frustration. But he was really trying and kept at it, so I kept that discomfort in check. On Mother’s Day, the plans weren’t ideal. We had brunch at 10am and then plans to go to Sperryville. Frank asked about going to brunch earlier and expressed dislike for a late arrival in Sperryville. I thought about trying to make things better for him, but I leaned into the discomfort and just let it be. 
• I needed a reminder this month that when I feel out of control, I need to ask myself what I do have control over, and start there!
• It’s okay to share hard things or share when things are hard; it normalizes those emotions and lets others know they are normal and they are not alone! 
• Reminded that I am highly sensitive. Keep it in mind and in perspective.
• Remember to ask: is it true? Writing SFDs
• People generally like you more than you think they do…
• Nostalgia is powerful in friendships; Conflict in friendship is not bad; it shows you care enough to take a stand for whatever has hurt or angered you

From my last post, but so good: 

• Brene Brown and difference between anger (control) and frustration (no control)
• Souleika Javed’s journaling in the form of letters; I haven’t done this, but I like the idea
• Routine and schedule are medicine
• Don’t forget body scans!