Western North Carolina (July 3-9, 2022)

Trip Down: 

• Easy, breezy
• We brought food to eat on the road and powered down the highway, hitting no traffic. 
• We stopped in TN for gas, and Zach got to try his first Icee (blue raspberry and cherry mixed) for ~$2. (We had just talked about Icees the night before when the whole family had a holiday picnic at Emily's house, and we all shared food memories!)
• We hiked on a small section of the AT where the trail crossed railroad tracks, right next to the Nolichucky River, and I was reminded of Chucky's Trading Post and Uncle Jim and Aunt Terri

Driving Stories: 

• Story Pirates episode: I Bit My Knee and the Cat Who Could Spell. You must trust. Trust you must. (We listened to this episode four times and Zach listened twice on his own!)
• The Who, When, Wow and Sacagawea (I love that one.)
• Listening to We Dream of Space by Erin Entrada Kelly
  

The Highlights

• Arrived and spent 36 hours with Van and 48 with Meredith and Mary Pepper
• Meredith made a tasty meal from Mary Pepper's Radish meal kit.
• On a related note, we talked about how Radish could also mean "rad-ish" and I taught Zach and MP, the pinky/thumb hand movement to indicate rad or "excellent" a la Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure. 
• Zach and Mary Pepper hit it off. He also really like liked her, and said he "felt like Kyle" from Project MC2, and we had to tell him that she's family and he can't date family. :)
• We walked to the park and playground and went out on the lake in kayaks and raced each other. We visited the pool, took naps, ate ice cream, and headed into town for fireworks. We had Detroit-style pizza from Jet's, and it was definitely tasty!
• Zach did ask about Mary Pepper's dad, and he said, "Where's her dad?" MP told him to ask Meredith, and we did. A: Our family is just Meredith and MP, and Meredith really wanted a baby (MP), and a doctor helped her do that.
• It was hot in Brevard and Asheville! Zach got stung by a sweat bee. I'd forgotten about them. We also stopped at a bust of a farmer's market, but Zach got to try Chiclets gum. So, there was that. 
• The area near Pisgah National Forest and DuPont State Forest are in temperate rain forest, and there was rain every day. The thunderstorms were pretty spectacular and the lightning could be impressive. 
• We all enjoyed the screened in porch and ceiling fans. No AC the whole week. 
• Frank and Zach played ping pong, had paddle board battles, and tried out mountain biking 
• I took Zach for a hike, and we went exploring for donuts, pastries, lunch, milk at Dollar General, and into Brevard to a playground and Asheville to meet up with my friend, Michelle and her kids. 
• We all enjoyed the pool at Connestee a lot as well. He lost his goggles. :(
• Frank, Zach, and I had a nice dinner at Oskar Blues. A walk for me post-dinner and corn hole for Frank and Zach.

What We Learned: 

• Meredith put us on to reading the Mo Willems books and having Zach read Piggie and me read Gerald (elephant)
• We also learned the game: My ship went to London and when I returned, I brought back a.... (We played a lot after family left and with Michelle and family)
• Meredith told me about Mo Willems concept of a dinner doodle, which I like. 
• The house has the  Mr. and Miss books that Agatha bought for me and Emily, and in one of them Virginia commented on each page of the book. "This is dumb," or "I like this." Very opinionated. Teehee!

Trip Home: 

• Stopped for lunch at a Harvest Table and the best part = raspberry bar, 7-layer bar, chocolate cake, and peanut butter and chocolate bar
• Crash on I-81, so we took off on back roads and ended up extending our drive for 4 hours! We stopped at Homestead Creamery for ice cream, drove by a small section of Smith Mountain Lake, and stopped at Wood Ridge Farm Brewery which lots of space and quite a bit of covered space for when it's super-sunny or rainy. I had farm-fresh battered summer squash chips, and they made fresh to order wood-fired pizzas and calzone. Definitely a big winner in Nelson County!
• Car games: what will we see next? a barn, tractor, trailer, run away truck ramp, etc. and Hey, Man. Also, some "I Spy."

All photos are here.

Lots of Growing

First and last day of school 2021-22

Zach of Note

• Adventure bucks concept - $5 for cleaning up and building roller coasters on own; has not taken off
• Towards the end of school, in the last few weeks, he wanted to walk to the bus stop by himself, and he started leaving before me, and I would meet him there. Field day at school when the school called me and told me Zach was sick with a temperature (within hours of my having seen him at the school for his field day, and he was fine. It turns out it was another Zach.) 
• The end of school and Senorita Quintanilla's letter to her students. So sweet. Mom, Dad, and I all cried. 
• The final soccer practices and games. At practice, they did a couple sessions of kids v. dads
• Soccer camp. Nothing but outside time for 6 hours!

• Transportation fun: Zach and Susan traveled to the zoo by metro and took the bus back to Farragut West. 
• Zach loved his bike and thanked Frank over and over for getting it for him
• Mille Bornes and cheskers

• Pre-travel soccer tryouts for Zach!
• Zach got some kind of sickness/illness and had a temperature of 101 overnight. He alternately cried and laughed when we went into his room. We don’t think he was really even awake, but it was definitely scary! We asked him if he knew us, and he couldn’t tell us who we were. He did call me a dove, which was correct from our reading of What Bird Are You? 

Zach's Words and Songs

• He’s been using the word “literally” a lot
• Reading: When Stars Are Scattered, 143-Story Treehouse, Treasure Chest books, What Bird Are You, and so many more
• Beanstak reading challenge
• Zach and I are reading so many books with Agathas. Okay, so my aunt, Agathe, FL’s wife, and now Fan Girl and the Treasure Chest have an Agatha. It’s nuts! 
• Hamentaschen morphed to handtaschen
• Zach songs: “I’m begging, begging you…”
• Podcasts: Who When Wow on Sacagawea and Bass Reeves and Jim Thorpe - so good
• Story Pirates and “I Bit My Knee” and “The Cat Who Could Spell”
• “Regreets” from MC2; in Project mc2, I love the smart girls!
• I’m trying to institute a daily writing and drawing practice!
• One morning Zach asked Alexa to play the “best songs by Europe” to listen to while he played video games!

Empathy Corner

• It’s funny how wearing a dress in summer makes you look fancy! Zach told me I looked pretty! Aww
• I got another, “You're the best mommy”
• Zach visited Mom and Dad for two nights instead of the one that has been the norm, and he missed me
• Still working on Zach being okay with entertaining himself, and related to that enjoying spending time on his own. I tell him: Do you know who is awesome to hang out with? You, Zach! Zach is awesome to hang out with!
• Roses and thorns
• Practicing gratitude, intention and thinking about what I’ll do for health, connection, and purpose
• We are getting better at breathing in times of crisis. Me especially. And remembering that emotions are just data...still a work in progress, but I think about it!

What I'm Working On

• We are getting better at breathing in times of crisis. Me especially. And remembering that emotions are just data...still a work in progress, but I think about it! (Yes, intentionally written twice)
• Meditation, gratitude, mindfulness, and kindness toward others
• The past 5-6 weeks have been busy. We traveled to Lewes and the mountains of North Carolina. I had my writing retreat in Sperryville. We saw friends we haven’t seen in months and family too. With some of the family, it had been YEARS! And it was hard. It would have been hard anyway, but I had to deal with 1.) how would I interact with people who knew about my breast cancer. Would they ask about it? Yes, in some cases, and no, in others. It was very invalidating when people pretend like this huge thing in your life didn’t happen at all. 2.) how would I deal with people who didn’t know. I learned from each interaction, and they were mostly very disappointing, discouraging, and unsatisfying, and time does help with healing…
• Who has done well? Paige, Meredith, and Mary from 78 Acres
• Don’t expect things to happen organically. Be intentional. 

Family Fun

• The baby birds nesting in the bush on our patio
• Frank and Zach and the pool and the Water Mine. Zach calls it the Water Mind
• Frank and Zach and Udvar Hazy and the pool and biking
• Zach and Susan went into DC to see Drumfolk. (It's the story of the Stono Rebellion of 1739 and the Negro Act of 1740 and tells the story through dance of how from drumming, working in a rhythm, drumlines, beatboxing, and scratching, were born of necessity and innovation. Very powerful. Zach liked the dance that used a whistle best.) It was so good, and he was such a good audience member! Afterwards, we got ice cream and he played in a splash pad
  

Good Food

• Strawberry and Oreo milkshakes from Potbelly’s for the last day of school
• The Corner Store blueberry muffins
• Before and After’s chicken salad croissant
• Cherries
• Emily's lentils and fresh veg/herb white beans - Delightful
• Spread (cottage cheese, scallions, mustard, walnuts)

Connection

• Uber buddies beach trip with Kate, Stephen, Mary Kay, and Hance
• Continued check-ins with Cat and Jason re: surgeries and breast cancer
• Tracey from work
• Card from Joy at work
• Dinner with Sam, Julia, and Zahra
• Dinner with Jeff, Sam, and Penni and Frank and Zach met Jeff and Sam for a hike at Great Falls
• A video call one evening with Sam
• Zach visited Mom and Dad
• Paige and helping each other through
• Nicole-Joy and connection; we had a great time sharing about our journals as a teenager!
• Zach and I had dinner with Katie and Suji
• Talked with Kathleen and Meredith
• Yvette and her beautiful photo (a view of Lake Michigan) from her b’day gathering
• Frank and Zach to Lake Anna with the cousins
• Two farmer’s market Saturday fun days with Mary and Cora
• July 2nd family picnic at Auntie Em’s 
• July 4th family picnic in Brevard, NC. My first fireworks in years
• Drive down to Connestee Falls and time with Van, Meredith, and Mary Pepper

Fun and Not So Fun

Personal

• Working through challenges and invisibility and how to advocate for myself with friends and family. Since things don’t happen organically, I advocated for what I needed and got time to chat with Annie. Go me! Time heals, but it’s tough to get through it. 
• A reference to Clue: “flames, creeping up the side of my face.” In the movie, everyone ignores her and keeps going! That sounds familiar.
• Frank as an advocate for me!
• My writing retreat; so good except for So. Many. Flies. 
• I enjoyed hiking all around on roads and trails just below Shenandoah National Park
• Every day I ran into people on my remote roads/trails, so someone would have seen me. 
• My writing was not as focused or productive as 2021, but the three-day weekend was restorative. See priorites below.
• Reading: Finished Pachinko, Fan Girl, 1619
• Audio Book: Finished Peak Mind and No Hard Feelings; started Scary Smart, Thrive, and We Dream of Space (with Zach)
• Podcasts: Many fewer because of practicing more mindfulness on walks, Mo Gawdat interview, Well-Read Black Girl, Teaching Hard History, Become a Good Ancestor, Ten Percent Happier
• Music of the Carolina Chocolate Drops and Adia Victoria from Teaching Hard History
• Watching: Kim’s Convenience and Colin in Black and White
• Power of breathing from Daniel Goleman on Ten Percent Happier that Buddhism doesn’t emphasize altering breathing, but Indian tradition does and it looks like belly breathing can be powerfully effective
• Paige shared an article from The Atlantic: We can, in fact, find immense fullness when we pay attention to smaller and smaller things. The Buddhist master Thich Nhat Hanh explains this in his book The Miracle of Mindfulness: “While washing the dishes one should only be washing the dishes, which means that while washing the dishes one should be completely aware of the fact that one is washing the dishes.” Why? If we are thinking about the past or future, “we are not alive during the time we are washing the dishes.” 
• I like the idea of imagining yourself happy and satisfied in 5 years, what is there, and how do you get to that!
• Inspirational Statements that I love: "It's just a for now, not a forever"
• I got my first free Life with Cancer massage and it was okay. I experienced sharp pains. 
• Attended Self-Compassion Facebook Live event and Noon Mindfulness workshop
• Talked with https://learnmindfulnessnow.com/ about learning mindfulness to teach others

Not So Fun

• Roe v. Wade overturned. So sad, disappointing, discouraging, and upsetting, so I started a recurring donation to National Network of Abortion Funds 

Professional

• Working with Ian in talking through our DEIB next steps with consultants. He posted on LinkedIn how valuable this was for him. Awww…nice!
• Onsite/offsite with the team. Nice to meet everyone in person and we did a Pinot’s Palette painting event. Pretty cool. Saw Ashley R. in the office

Priorities as of 6/20/22

1. Daily intention: Health, Purpose, Connection

1. Health & Purpose: Teach mindfulness, kindness, compassion, and how to be a good human.

1. 12 mins of mindfulness daily (what I’m doing for health, connection, purpose - talk to; don’t avoid neighbors and intention with Zach (what are you looking forward to and what is your intention, etc., doing nice things for others, roses and thorns)

2. What’s on your mind? And what else? What is the real challenge here for you? What does support look like? What was useful for you?

3. ARC content

4. Gifts of Imperfection pod squad - group text with a high and low for the day or rose and thorn to then be able to follow up. 

5. Continue roses and thorns, loving kindness and ending and beginning the day with thanks and gratitude

2. Connection: Make space for connection

2. Seek out opportunities to interact with a truly diverse group. 

1. Around food?

2. Marches and social activism - Roe v. Wade, ERA, Black Lives Matter