Saturday, January 14, 2023

A Breakthrough and So Much More

Zach of Note

  • Kitchen soccer on his own and with Frank
  • Zach had his 7-year well appointment; all was well. We talked about how the great soccer players eat lots of veggies!
  • Camps during Winter Break; he was “walking sunshine” at Reston Camps
  • Entering the world of Pokemon; we got a book from the library, but I was still confused. Santa brought him Pokemon cards and he got books. Wahoo!
  • Legos - Poppy Star’s airplane and a box of fun Legos, so lots of creations
  • Stories, so much story listening
  • PBS kids games
  • Renewed commitment to chores (developed a list together) and he was so proud of himself cleaning the sinks and making his bed! :) 
  • Allowance in 2023 ($2/week)
  • Started indoor soccer

School

  • Out for two weeks and one day, so not too much school, but he didn’t really miss a beat going back. He didn't want to go to camp every day....
  • Lost his soccer ball, but Auntie Em had given him a second ball. Whew!

Emotions/Empathy Corner

When Poppy Star’s airplane crashed, it was very sad. Frank and I did a good job of staying in the pain with Zach. Frank rebuilt it for him.


Zach's Words and Songs

  • Stuck in the Stone Age - so good!!!! “This guy”
  • Boxcar Children, Jigsaw Jones, and Magic Treehouse books
  • Pokemon Books
  • Reading, but he doesn’t love it. He does love stories and listens to so many audio books + I love reading to him. I think he feels like he doesn’t need to read, but he can…
  • Stories: The Perfect Score, My Own Lightning, Stories podcast stories, Story Pirates, lots of Who, When, Wow on his own
  • He asked me to buy him “lip stick”; he meant lip balm. Teehee
  • Lots of music and dance parties abound; he loves “We Own Tonight” and “Remix, I Like the” as well as many more songs. Such a range!
  • Mom and Zach and “rutabaga” and his “attitude” or “‘tude”

Sleep Update 

He’s sleeping a lot with me, as much as possible. It’s supposed to be 1 week night and 1 week day. It’s generally a little more than that. 


Zach slipped this under my door
when I was isolating b/c of COVID
Health Corner

  • I tested positive for COVID for 14 days. I really did not feel bad for more than 4-5 days. Frank and Zach never got sick. 
  • I had my annual physical, and my A1c was at 5.7. So frustrating that it just keeps going up. However, as Emily said, my body has been through so much this year, I should take it with a grain of salt. Still hard to do! In a year where I have greatly reduced my alcohol intake, which feels like a really healthy change and choice, I still need to make food changes. I have a tendency to want to be very compliant, but I need to keep my overall health in mind. So, I’m trying not to go nuts and am starting with reducing breakfast sweets and making changes to the breads and crackers I eat. Having a lot more peanut and almond butter and nuts and seeds. I really love peanut butter! My health has really seemed to go downhill fast as of 45! Menopause is no joke. I have allowed myself to get all the sleep and rest I need in 2022.
  • I got a massage for Christmas. So nice. 
  • I caught a cold from Zach. Sigh. I started to feel bad on Christmas Day and the cough and congestion stuck around for quite a while. 

Family Fun

  • A hike (me and Zach) at Banshee (tried out their new scavenger hunt letter find) and then lunch at Quattro Goombas with Frank
  • The World Cup was fun for us all. We enjoyed the final match of Argentina v. France! 
  • After my bout with COVID was up, we went out on a driving tour of Christmas lights
  • New Year’s Eve we got pizza and played Forbidden Island
  • We took a family trip down to Sperryville and hiked the Hazel River Trail. Zach was so excited and we had a BLAST. We tried out the Copper Fox Distillery and had lunch by the Thornton River
  • Night hike at Banshee Reeks and s’mores

Susan and Zach

  • We took some nights to drive around and see Christmas lights and listen to Christmas music in the car.
  • The Metro: we went down to Georgetown Glow - so fun and we went down to the Mall.
  • We watched Arthur Christmas on Christmas morning
  • Trip down on The Mall; we went to the National Gallery (there are naked sculptures there) and the transportation exhibit at the American History museum. The biggest hit was lunch by the waterfall at the National Gallery of Art
  • Zach and I went out to breakfast at Ted’s Bulletin for my ½ birthday. So tasty!

Frank and Zach

  • Sky Zone lots and a play date with Theo
  • Indoor pool fun
  • They play games with Zach’s animals and red card/yellow card and so much more. Frank is so good at these games!
  • Frank and Zach went down to Charlottesville after Christmas and spent time with Ralph, Chuckie, and Jeff. They went to a UVA men’s basketball game and UVA women’s basketball game with Sam and Zahra, and they went snow tubing at Bryce. Whew! 

Good Food

  • Sesame tahini cookies
  • Almond butter, freeze-dried blueberry oat bites (They're actually really good.)
  • Auntie Em’s chocolate tahini, molasses rye, and jam cookies
  • Christmas Eve nosh and Christmas Day meal - Yum
  • Chocolate tastings
  • The River and Rail meal in Roanoke (whipped butter and pimento cheese w/ corn bread, chicken cassoulet w/ salt-seared butternut squash pieces, and chocolate cremeux)
  • French toast casserole
  • Peanut sauce
  • The Grain Bowl from Ted’s Bulletin was delightful

Connection

  • Weekly highs and lows sharing
  • Support from Nicole, Rae, and Mary Kay
  • Hanging out with Emily when we could post-COVID and video chats when we could not!
  • Katie took Zach to play soccer while I had COVID
  • Siga’s cookies and generosity
  • Rachel and family’s sugar cookies
  • Katie, Suji, and Vero’s generosity
  • Cookie baking with Auntie Em
  • A great Christmas Eve nosh at Auntie Em’s and Christmas Day
  • We watched Les Miserables, and Zach really enjoyed “the play”
  • Paige and I met in Roanoke and had THE BEST time
  • Zach spent the night with Gamma and Daddy Bob; I got to stop by and have lunch with them
  • I attended Emily’s Atlas of the Heart Book Club. So fun!
  • Sunday coffee chat with Mom and Dad
  • Calls to Paige (imperfect connection!)
  • Video chat with Kate and Mary Kay

Frank & Susan

  • Walks and best meals reminiscing
  • We finished The White Lotus by watching simultaneously on separate devices
  • Back to date evening on Fridays when Zach goes to the YMCA

Fun and Not So Fun Stuff (Personal and Professional)

Personal 

The trip to Roanoke was festive and awesome! I drove through Charlottesville and stopped at Cou Cou Rachou. Delicious pastries. I listened to a ton of Coaching for Leaders podcasts. I loved exploring, catching up w/ Paige, stopping by The Fresh Market, eating good food, and checking out the neighborhoods!


Watching

  • Love and Basketball
  • If Beale Street Could Talk
  • Love Actually
  • Firefly Lane
  • Girlfriends
  • To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before
  • Abbott Elementary
  • Sodium Day
  • Started White Lotus Season 2

Reading

  • Braving the Wilderness 
  • Gifts of Imperfection
  • Everything You Wanted to Know about Indians but Were Afraid to Ask
  • Shoutin’ in the Fire
  • Surrender
  • One Drop

Listening

  • Michael Harriott on Black Belt voices
  • Coaching for Leaders
  • Final episodes of Unlocking Us
  • Dare to Lead

Professional

  • ARC session with Omar’s team; they really liked talking about different styles
  • Leadership Institute: Leaders Build Trust (wrapped) and Leaders Listen to Understand (kicked off)
  • DEIB
  • Client Engagement Services training planning
  • Then a 20% reduction in force, and lost some amazing colleagues (Rae and Ian)
  • Energy-giving v. draining with the new form builders
  • Offering ARC to Ian and a succulent + chocolate


My Breakthrough

  • How to be an adult: ask for what you need and understand that you might not get what you need. 

  • Connection over communication; have the imperfect conversation, it’s better than no conversation

  • When I go into a negativity spiral, review the questions on Kristin Neff’s self-compassion test https://self-compassion.org/self-compassion-test/ . I wrote these out for a quick and immediate review when in need. 

  • Work on tendency to judge others on if or where I think they are on their wholehearted journey

  • A foundation of this kind of work is critical to success. Learning, re-visiting resources, keeping up a habit of working on relationships allow those relationships to weather hard times

  • In order to be self-secure, I need to work to share and share how I was hurt. 

  • There is a give and take to everything. No experience is perfect We’ll all falter and should expect genuine human messiness. We all suffer and it’s not everything. It’s not all of who we are. 


What led to my breakthrough? 

  • As I approached a situation that I knew would be hard, I asked friends to support me who had that capacity. (EMF, NJM, PB)

  • I shared my experience with friends who helped me process it and provided resources (NJM, RS)

  • When hurt, I overcame my tendency to want to isolate and shared my low with (MKP, KG, KS)

  • My friends asked for more when I shared (MKP, KG, KS)

  • Their questions led me to review past resources and insights (How to be an adult, Atlas of the Heart, and Kristin Neff’s self-compassion test) and a new one, the book, The Gifts of Imperfection - which led me to recall the Gifts of Imperfection work that Mary Kay and Kate and I did from the Brene Brown podcast and assessment.

  • How did I have time to review those resources?

  • I upheld my commitment to take the day off work for doctor’s appointments (because these appointments require a lot of work and energy and sometimes are emotionally taxing)

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