The Anti-Routine

Zach of Note

• Fights about actually using soap in the shower
• No more special weekends sleeping with me; he always starts the night in his bed
• Discussed better food choices at the end of the last week of school and came to an agreement that we wrote down in our family journal 
• Z was excited to see a red-winged hawk at school
• I asked Zach why is always so contrarian. I ask him to do something, and he’ll often say “No,” and then do it. We started doing the opposite. I would say, “Whatever you do, don’t do X,” and he really liked that. I need to do it more often!
• Zach is so into hockey now and all the sports: soccer and football. All sports all the time. 
• He enjoyed his Sports Illustrated Kids
• Zach and I enjoy “kitchen showdown” where we play songs and try to score on each other. 
• Zach has been struggling with frustration - using words like “stupid” and “sucks,” including “learning sucks.”
• He got super-upset when the Ravens lost and seemed upset that I didn’t watch enough sports with him. 
• He told us he liked the pandemic because we spent a lot of time with him. 
• He continues to tell us how much he loves Callie and how much he looks forward to seeing her when he gets home from school
• I told Zach “I love you,” and he said, “You always say that.” I said, “You can’t say it too much.”
• Interest in cat training after watching Liesl’s videos with her cats
• Working on Zach having patience for himself!
• Reading Who Would Win, joke books, Big Nate, Diary of a Wimpy Kid, Catwad
• Listening to Spy School, Big Nate, Harry Potter

Zach & School

• Zach shared a fun fact about water filtration that he learned from S teacher. I messaged to tell her that he enjoyed her lesson in Talking Points.
• Zach and Sra S. Challenges continue
• At the end of 2024, we decided that we would do these things since it feels like partnering with his teacher is not possible: 
• When he has to miss school for dentist or doctor, make it in the PM
• Focus on science and math camps
• Help him get through Jiji assignments so he can keep going to more challenging math work
• On the first Tuesday he was back at school, we got an invitation for him to join a friendship circle (aka counseling group). He enjoys it and has been demonstrating great self-control in the first two sessions. Apparently he’s also good at Jenga!
• As he’s continued to struggle with Sra S, we remind him that he as good self-control (as per the friendship circle), and we got him to take a game to school, which allowed us to connect with Sra S around home much we and she thinks the kids should be doing something other than playing games on their computers during indoor recess. Zach rated computer games at indoor recess as an 8.5 and playing Skull King a 9, so he agreed to more games too!
• Zach enjoyed playing the floor is lava in gym and he loves clay in art. He and Jackson won a Kahoot game in Ms. Goodman’s class. 

Zach & Orthodontics: He’s still doing an amazing job with his expander!

Zach & Soccer

• One last goalie practice with Liam; it was wet!
• Jake said the boys “played with heart!” Awww
• When Zach sprained his ankle, which was at the end of their first indoor practice, it cracked me up that all the coaches had different advice for us. It was cool that Charlie came by to say “hi” to Zach. (The 2014 C-team coach.)
• The assessments from Jake and Liam were helpful and Liam’s was particularly thoughtful and insightful

Good Food

• Great Harvest shortbread and St. Nickerdoodle cookies 
• Chukar Bakery’s muffins and Brownies - Yum!
• Auntie Em’s egg bites
• Thompson Italian food: manicotti, beef short ribs and polenta, parsnip soup, and pumpkin cake
• The River and the Rail’s trout with veggies, farro, savory mousse of some kind, and kale. So good! 
• Buffalo cauliflower tacos at Bowlero
• Auntie Em’s sourdough and sourdough discard delicacies, including my flat bread
• Donuts from Texas donuts
• Tomato lentil soup
• Hellbender burritos and tacos for Z
• Chai sugar cookie and White Grass soup

Connection + Family Fun

• We played a lot of Gin Rummy in December, which was very fun! 
• We watched the last Harry Potter movies
• Great to say hello and catch up with the soccer families 
• Grateful for the friends who checked in and those who helped: Jeremy - Liam’s dad helped us to the car; Andrew and Neal, Doug, and Cora and Tom
• Checked in with Mary Kay on a Tuesday! We missed December, but have kept up a good monthly cadence.
• Gratitude from Nikki for the new year! 
• Since we aren’t walking to school (snow, ice, sprained ankle), we’re back to the bus stop neighbors; good to see them again!
• Liesl - she shared some great cat training videos. What inspiration!
• Sent a thank you to Dave L.
• Sent a card to Linda S. 
• Dinner with Auntie Em and watching Inside the Mind of a Cat

Gratitude

• Started daily gratitude, and Zach is thoughtful, perceptive, and grateful for a lot!
• Glover family quilt
• Susan & Lindy took care of Callie

Personal and Professional Fun and Not So Fun

• Tolerating discomfort and hard emotions in kids is such a hard thing and a good thing! He’s been bored, gone on boring walks and errands, and had to just sit in the car and look out the window
• Spanish continues and speaking Spanish with Zach!
• The gift buying and giving process with Zach was hard. It feels like he’s so ungenerous, but we don’t spend a lot of time on gift giving, so it probably makes sense. 
• 2024 recapped and beginning to send out. 
• Bought plane tickets to Spain and found some fun Madrid items that I shared with Zach for his feedback. 

Health: A cold from Dec 30-Jan 3 and then shingles - NO!!!!!!!!

Reading

• Swift River
• Finished Our Hidden Conversations
• Started Caste
• The Last Thing He Told Me

Listening

• Motivation 10-25: 
• Elevate healthy eating to independence and rebelliousness. Find kids who are eating food that is good for their bodies and make the status eating like them! 
• Bullying before 10-25 is about a social emotional regulation problem; after it’s about trying to find where we belong and feeling left out. Help everyone feel like they belong! 

• Anti-Fat Bias: don’t forget, we come in all shapes and sizes; what matters is strength and flexibility. 
• Dr. Becky and analysis of “Bad Therapy.”
• Podcasts on puberty: boys experience anger and have less ability to verbalize it. Apparently both sides of the brain of girls have verbal capacity, but only one side for boys
• Spark Brilliance
• Highland Hearts Holiday Bookshop

Watching

• Somebody Somewhere
• Love Actually
• Virgin River
• Our LIttle Secret
• Let It Snow
• The Six Triple Eight
• Dash & Lily
• Abbott Elementary
• XO Kitty

Not So Fun: Trump’s inauguration and the immediate and challenging implementation of his agenda. 

Professional 

• IT Team and Clfiton Strengths and AI prompt
• Angela’s Owning Your Career
• Empathy w/ Bjorn and getting him to Judie; same with Anton
• Relationships with Annie, Athena, Hailey, Anita, and so many more
• AMAZING kudos from Caroline on Leadership Institute
• DEIB
• Aspiring Leaders
• I’m part of the Center of Expertise for Talent Acquisition, Development, and Management. CoE head is from Hungary
• Lots of laughs about soup drops and how gross they seem
• “Le Susan Fort” bit
• Kudos from leadership (Viyas, Judie, James) about how committed I am to professional development
  

A Chronicle of Dec 14, 2024-Jan 26, 2025

Dec 14-15: 

• Coach assessment with Jake and Liam
• Basketball scrimmage
• Soccer with Owen and poetry at the Herndon library! 

Dec 16-20: 

• Last week of school before break. 
• Field trip on Monday with Frank as chaperone. He saw the little devils at work!
• Dec 17: Zach said he had a stomach ache and tried to stay home, but then realized he didn’t feel that bad and staying home was boring, so, a win!
• Zach and Sra S. challenge
• Went to see A Charlie Brown Christmas on Thursday at South Lakes with Athena and Chari
• I hung art on Friday, ran into lots of parents as they left from volunteering at the Christmas party. 

Dec 21-22 

• Zach played at the HP Elite Charity Cup with his teammates in Spain
• Nice to meet the kids and parents and family members: 
• Jack: Kevin and Kara, brother Connor; Jack plays for McLean
• Duke: Travis and Holly, brother Chase
• Jacob: mom, Nina; Jacob plays for Valor and has two sisters who will come to Spain
• Mills: didn't meet his parents
• Roman: Quan's son
• Landon: Mom, Fi (sp), pronounced like wi-fi
• Their team did pretty well for never having played together. They lost game one pretty big; won game two; and lost game three, so they didn’t make it to the finals. Zach was frustrated that they lost. 
• On Sat Dec 21: Nice Christmas lights drive around Great Falls; lots of family laughter! Jerry was working at Brx. Jokes about “hook ‘em horns.”

Dec 22-23: Frank and Zach spent the night with Gamma and Daddy Bob and skied at Bryce.

Dec 23-24

• Zach stayed with Gamma and Daddy Bob
• Frank and I had a chance to go out to Taco Bamba for dinner and then get up on 12/24 and wrap presents and watched Red One. 
• Mom and Dad brought Zach in to Auntie Em’s for the Christmas Eve Nosh
• Frank and Zach went off to Udvar Hazy before coming back to join us in noshing. 
• Delicious cookies and Christmas favorites: cheeseball
• TikTok marching in a box challenge

Dec 25

• A wonderful Christmas morning at home. Zach and I got up around 5am and watched most/all of the Polar Express before waking Frank up at 7:30am
• Breakfast/brunch at Auntie Em’s; loved the egg bites!
• Thompson Italian Lunch. The food was AMAZING!
• RC car fun

Dec 26: Susan took Zach to the zoo. We loved the sand cats and meerkats + RC car fun.

Dec 27-29

• Susan to Roanoke for a visit with Paige. I made the long drive staying off highways, which was nice. We met and tried out the Crystal Spring Grocery and had a delicious meal at the River and the Rail. It rained more this year, so walking was cut a bit short, but we checked out our fave used gear store and visited the Hotel Roanoke. The tree display was particularly great with a Little Debbie tree! Our Airbnb left a lot to be desired, but we made the best of it and laughed a lot!
• Frank and Zach to Wintergreen to ski and stay in Charlottesville 

Dec 30 - 31: At home. Playdate with Theo and Henry. Susan started feeling sick on Dec 30.

Jan 1-3: Frank and Zach went to Hershey Park and Greek Peak to ski. I stayed home because of my cold. 

Jan 3: I asked Frank about a rash/pimples on my forehead as my headache had returned even though my cold was winding down. 

Jan 3-15: Susan and shingles. No! Let me know if you want to see my photo diary! Thanks to those who checked in on me!

Jan 4-6:

Over the weekend, Frank took Zach on Sat and I had him on Sunday. I went to a Minute Clinic on Saturday afternoon and then I took Zach to a playdate with Andrew at Lifetime Fitness on Sunday. They rock climbed, had lunch, and played at the pool. By the end of the afternoon, I had the worst headache and messaged Mary about my pain. I told her how the rash was spreading across my forehead, and she speculated it could be shingles. Thank goodness. Frank took some pictures. I messaged my doctor and had telehealth on Monday, Jan 6, and she confirmed a shingles diagnosis. Frank was able to get medicine (antivirals and pain meds) on Monday in spite of the snowstorm! 

Jan 6-9: no school for Zach and we made it through despite my illness. Frank took Zach skiing for the day on Wednesday to Massanutten. 

Jan 10: Back to school for one day

Jan 11-12: I took Zach to Aidan’s party and had a great time talking with Mary. On Sunday, Zach went to indoor soccer practice on Sunday and sprained his ankle. Womp. Womp. 

Jan 13: Zach out of school to rest and heal his ankle. Frank took him to the doctor and for an X-ray. Just a bad sprain. 

Jan 14-17: Back to school

Jan 18-20:

MLK weekend trip to Canaan Valley, WV. We met up with Sam, Julia, & Zahra and Katheen & Brian. Kate and Tristan and Cassidy were in Davis, but the winter weather meant we didn’t get to see them. On Sat, we stopped at the Lost River Trading Post for lunch on the way to Canaan Valley. In CV, Zach and I played cards - Go Fish and had hot chocolate with ice cream. Yum! Frank X-country skied. On Sunday, F&Z downhill skied; Zahra took a lesson; and Julia and I X-country skied. The best conditions EVER (?) at White Grass. So nice! Sam drove into a snowbank on the way to Zahra’s ski lesson, but a nice local pulled him out in no time. Kathleen and Brian got to use snow chains for the first time and spent Sunday at the house after the roads were too difficult for their car. We all got out fine on Monday. F&Z skied in the frigid temperatures before we headed out. We enjoyed playing Go Fish, Rummy, Twister, and Skull King! 

Jan 21-24: Because of the frigid temperatures, Tu and Wed were 2-hour delays. OMG! As the PTA said, January has felt like 456 (snow) days long! Zach took his new game, Skull King, and it was a hit all week long, which led to a breakthrough (?) maybe with Sra S! 

Jan 25: Zach and I went to James’ hockey game, cheered on his basketball team, and spent some time at home in the afternoon, which led to some fun playing with the neighbors

Jan 25-26: F&Z headed to Gamma & Daddy Bob’s to spend the night before meeting up with James and family at Bryce. They met up and had a blast. I had a delicious breakfast with Auntie Em at Ted’s Bulletin, and we talked through IT ALL!!! A walk and then blog work + calls with Paige and Mom & Dad. 

Some of it was amazing, but it was six weeks+ and a total disruption to routine. That's life, of course, and it was hard!

I thought it was all soccer, but no!

Zach’s 9th Birthday

• Parties galore - with Teddy’s birthday just a few days before Zach’s and also Adrian’s birthday, we had 3 parties in 4 days, including Zach’s
• So fun to celebrate with the neighbors on Teddy’s birthday
• It was an unexpected treat to have Coach Liam (Zach’s goalie coach) join Adrian’s party and lead the kids in fun soccer games
• Finally, Zach’s party was a lot of fun. Everyone made it except one kid, so it was a great turn out! 
• He has really enjoyed his gifts, particularly the Bopit, the Sports Illustrated graphic novels. 
• We had dinner at the Melting Pot to round out the birthday celebration.

Halloween 

So much Harry Potter! He dressed up for piano lessons on Tuesday, then for story book character day, for trick or treating, and then to go with Auntie Em for the Forbidden Forest! 

Thanks to Beth for lending Zach some additions to flesh out his Harry Potter costume (wand, scarf, and robes).

Zach of Note

• Piano is still a work in progress. He enjoys going, but struggles to push through the challenge of practicing. He still seems to pick songs up amazingly fast. 
• Walks to school in the morning continue to be a blast. It can be a huge crew (Teddy, Jewelle, Cora, Aidan, Tom, Milo, Adina)
• Playdates with Tom, though all the days off in Oct and Nov meant there were hardly any Fridays in school! Teddy and Jewelle have come over a fair amount and Cora too. Multiple playdates with Adrian.
• Playdate with Owen E. They played soccer and had fun writing poetry at the library
• Battleball game has remained fun, but we also got a new collaborative game for his birthday that is fun, and he was excited to play Harry Potter Monopoly.
• Time with Grandad at downtown Air and Space and Udvar Hazy
• Hot chocolate stand - almost no takers; I think they made $9 
• Lots of listening to audiobooks and Tom Petty, Green Day, and Frank made a birthday playlist for his party!
• Reading: Zoey and Sassafras, Mr. Wolf’s Class, Sports Illustrated graphic novels; book fair books: Evil Spy School, Diary of a Pug, Sparks!
• Since it’s getting colder and drier, he’s had a few nose bleeds.

Orthodontics

Started with expanders and after stalling out a couple times, we realized that Zach wasn’t wearing the expanders properly. Frank said he should have paid more attention. We were demoralized and discouraged. But, we realized other kids must have this same challenge, and the orthodontist was very understanding and told us it might take 2-3 days to move from one expander to the next. It would have been nice to have heard that or grasped it from the beginning. 

 

School

• Lots of time off in November
• Zach brought home a good quarterly report despite hearing that he and his teacher have continued to have challenges. He sad he was proud of how hard he has worked on reading and writing, especially his essays
• We continue to talk about positive relationships and how the take time and work. We heard from Sra S. that she and he were still struggling, so now we discuss how he’s doing to work toward positive relationships every day. And I told him, I don’t expect you will always get it right, and sometimes it might not be your fault! Sra S. visited Ms. G.’s class to observe
• Zach is doing well with his morning routine of school work from 7:15am-7:45am. Go Zach!
• We went to see Ms. Goodman's play and ran into Athena, Cora, TJ and family and then talked to Lauren about how wonderful Ms. Goodman's performance was!
• New good friends are Leland and James, who both came to his party. 
• Ms. Goodman has a special job for Zach…turning on a lamp that is too high for lots of the kids. She’ll tell him, “Zach, do your thing.”
• Ruby Bridges Walk to School - I tried to build a positive relationship with Zach’s teacher and it was hard! I had looked up fun facts about Bolivia, but they didn’t get me very far…
• Z loves the GIFs that he can insert in Google Slides
• “Tell me about your XXX” for the win. One day it was “Tell me something interesting,” and he shared that Senora Serrano complimented his school work

Soccer

• The season continued with one game per weekend. We wrapped up with a win, and the tournament went well too. 
• Auntie Em, Gamma and Daddy Bob, and Grandad all came to games!
• Goalie and regular practice continued into November, until just before Thanksgiving, and Zach was always keen to go. 
• Coach Liam came to Zach last game, and it was too funny. Where Coach Jake says, “Zach get off your line.” Coach Liam says, “Be brave, Zach!”
• One of Zach’s team mates is from Tajikistan, and so I did a little research
• Tournament No. 2: Coach Jake set his alarm for the wrong time. All of us parents pulled together to get everyone to the right place, and Joel waited to get Jake the best parking spot possible. 
• After losing the first game BIG, they played well and almost made it to the finals! It was fun to watch, and the drive to Poolesville was beautiful. The boys got together at a restaurant between games on Saturday, and we all enjoyed each other’s company. 
• Zach guest played the very next weekend (and we were back in Maryland again) with the 2014 Green C team. He thought he would play goalie, but long story short, their goalie was a bit injured, so he played in goal for game 1 and game 3. The team lost all of their games by pretty large margins. 
• Zach played the annual soccer game with the cousins and family in Charlottesville, and they had a lot of fun! 
• Zach has gotten one goalie practice with Liam in the off season
• Strengths and areas for improvement: S = diving, picking up the ball, going after the ball aggressively | AfI = high catches, catching in general, coming off his line, and calling for the ball/directing his team

Basketball

• Zach’s on the team with Coach Kevin again and classmates: Tom, Jackson, Adrian, Noah, and Lucas. They have three fourth graders: Noah, Odeon, and Muhab
• First practices and scrimmages have gone well. I enjoy getting some time to chat with the families

Thanksgiving

• I had two Thanksgivings! 
• Stayed at the scone baker’s place
• Nice neighborhood to walk in
• Cousin love
• Dammann family soccer game
• Lots of family time and walks and time on the mountain
• Met up with Sam, Julia, and Zahra for lunch and some aerobee time
• Frank drove back for Zach’s expanders

Susan & Zach

• One visit to church
• Book club has been happening 3x a week for the most part. Sometimes we just read side-by-side
• Lots of soccer and soccer adventures
• Tennis ball - where we try to get a ball past each other (tennis, “rage” ball, or baseball pool ball)

Frank & Zach

• Hershey Park
• Harry Potter Monopoly
• Skiing at Wintergreen on opening weekend
• Morning school work

Family Time

• We listened to Patina 
• Lots of questions about the largest countries by area and population. We learned a lot!
• New collaborative game
• Movies: Despicable Me 4, Miracle, My Octopus Teacher (half of it), and Back to the Future
• Christmas tree lighting + caroling and Reston’s Winterfest; we ran into so many soccer friends, classmates, and neighbor

Frank & Susan

• Walks have been very consistent
• Therapy sessions are valuable
• Dinner at Seray
• Watched Nobody Wants This

Connection

• Fun chatting with families at soccer practices
• Regular chats with Mary Kay
• We met Emily and Andrew’s Katherine
• Belated birthday lunch at The Maple Room with Auntie Em
• Talked to Paige for hours one Sunday
• Went to Teddy’s final soccer game of the season and ran into Alan and Beckett and Beckett’s grandparents. So fun!
• Visits with Auntie Em for me and Zach; they went to Frying Pan Park and Harry Potter Forbidden Forest
• Getting together with all Kate, Kathleen, Brian, Mary Kay, Hance and Stephen in Maryland
• Hearing from Janna and Marc G. 
• Coffee with Eva
• Thanksgiving visits, especially getting to see Emily and Mom and Dad and visit with the Dammann side of the family
• Loved hearing the Quisenberry’s story about a highlight for them from the past year, and talking to their daughter Julie about being a boy mom
• Spoke a little Spanish with Juliana
• Cousin love
• Katie’s on the mend and her birthday dinner out and a date for tea
• A few days at the bus stop and good to see some old friends!
• Flowers to Liesl

Callie

• Callie has been sleeping with Zach lately
• She’s still a really vocal cat, always chatting
• She’s very attached to us; she sleeps right next to us, wants to groom us, and sometimes sleeps next to us under the covers
• Zach is training Callie as a goalie

Good Food - Mostly Sweets this time!

• Auntie Em’s white bean soup
• Lots of cookies! Peanut butter from the VanChieri’s and sugar cookies from the Jerome/Kallevigs’
• Cou Cou Rachou’s cardamom braid and kougi anan
• Great Harvest’s shortbread
• Auntie Em’s Thanksgiving meal
• Pizza with butternut squash puree at Brookeville Beer Farm
• Brownies for Frank’s birthday
• Vanina’s birthday cake for Zach
• Julian’s cake
• Great Harvest’s shortbread

Personal and Professional (Fun and Not So Fun)

• Health: caught my fall cold, weird foot problem that had me hobbling for 12-ish hours, ears cleaned out
• Spanish - some shows in Spanish (Pocoyo - kid show and Paquita Salas), some Spanish with Zach, some Spanish with Juliana and mainly doing a lot of good work with Spanish!
• Good Inside had new content on entitlement; so much good stuff!
• Overheard a little kid tell another little kid: I’m four; I used to be three
• Reading
• Our Hidden Conversations
• Swift River
• Watching
• Finished Heartstopper
• Started Starstruck
• Frank and I watched Nobody Needs This??
• Somebody Somewhere
• Listening
• Motivation 10-25
• Some Unlocking Us
• Simon Sinek
• Other podcasts for work

Not So Fun (Personal)

• Trump was re-elected; luckily, it’s renewed our focus on community and helping others, particularly LGBTQIA+ and immigrant communities and anti-racism work
• I also reached out to friends and neighbors and I’m hopeful for the community we’re investing in
• Tom Schumann died

Professional

• Leadership Institute and Aspiring Leaders are great, especially the session with my four male participants talking about emotion skills. Amazing and gives me hope as a boy mom
• Collaborating with Angela
• Getting to know Crystal and sharing my dad's squash casserole
• Culture sessions on Cultural Awareness and Belonging
• Angela’s professional development session on “Owning Your Career” was really good! I used ChatGPT to catalog some professional skill fits around my top five strengths
• Google AI resources
• Strengths session with the IT team - great as always; used AI exercise of suggestions of professional activities that maximize strengths

Resources

• You don’t have to be perfect to be loved
• Daniel Pink’s “On a scale of 1 to 10 how much do you want to do X.” Assuming answer is not 1, ask “why isn’t it lower.” 
• Ask about a kids day…I heard there were hyenas on the playground today to get them to actually tell you about their day.