Glorious & Weary (Oct 1-Nov 5)

Zach of Note

• Working on chores: putting away his soccer gear so he can find, not leaving clothes on the floor, but putting them in the laundry basket, etc.
• Drinking water
• Playing with the neighbors and neighborhood connections - so fun!
• Sleeping is hard. Zach struggles to sleep on his own. I did too. 
• Birthdays: Zach went to Gwen’s and Domingo’s parties
• Soccer obsession; Academy has been fun chatting with Russel and Coach Luiz 
• FIFA: We had to institute a week-long break at one point!
• Hey, Man
• Zach worked with me and Frank to create a unique handshake with each of us. Mine with Zach is fist bump, three pumps of a traditional handshake, then a high five, and mine explodes, and his turns into a thumbs up! 
• Lost a tooth!
• School
• 26-30 kids in his class - who knows? Def seems like too many!
• Teacher says, “It’s a lot, but it’s okay because they’re all good kids, no troublemakers.”
• The schedule has been nearly untenable with so many days off. For the fall, they’ve had 17 weeks, and only 8 of them have been a full five days in school. It’s been really, really, really hard on me.
• Zach’s coach at Academy spoke to him in Spanish and he nodded that he understood. Cool!

Zach's Words and Songs

• Singing in Spanish
• Story Pirates, Who, When, Wow, and Stories podcasts are the fave. Love Goats to Go! “I’m Larry.”
• Listened to Harbor Me by Jacqueline Woodson
• Listening to We Built This City (from GoCanvas Feel Good Friday playlist; Zach loved it), Video Killed the Radio Star, and YMCA + learning the dance
• Zach is reading. He reads with Frank most nights, and he and I read Pete’s Train Trip. Amazing!
• Zach used the word "persnickety" and asked what “scowl” meant
• Enjoying Boxcar Children, Jigsaw Jones, Pete the Cat

Empathy Corner

• Zach still loves SEL!
• Roses and thorns
• Zach is trying to figure out some challenges with his friend, Ethan, and it feels normal, but also important to get right
• Zach did say that “my cancer wasn’t that bad,” so we had to talk through that! OMG!

At Walk 4 Mtns

What I'm Working On

• October is breast cancer month. The Walk 4 Mountains was hard. Difficulty with doctors. It’s an ongoing challenge. Breast cancer isn’t my identity, but still. 
• Chatted with my eye doctor and that was very replenishing. She asked questions, and I shared my breast cancer story with no baggage. 

Health Corner

• Still massaging and got a massage! I had an uptick in doctors’ appointments, some harder than others, eating the rainbow!
• Zach and I both got our flu shots and COVID boosters on the same day. No problem!

Family Fun

• All of us at the Walk 4 Mtns, trip to Sperryville, dinner at Aslin
• Annedroids watching
• Helping Auntie Em and Uncle Jeff move 
• Z visited Gamma and Daddy Bob
• Toasting Auntie Em’s new house!
• Zach and a hike with Grandad
• Frank and Zach: soccer. Launch, and a membership at Sky Zone, Leesburg Animal Park Fall Festival, and soccer game, George Mason v. GW
• Me and Zach: basketball, and walk in the morning on a random Wednesday. He asked to come with me, so we geared up with reflective vests and flashlights, and checked out Halloween lights and the Little Art Gallery. Awesome!

• Also, a trip to Baltimore! We met up with Mary Kay and Hance to go to Morgan State’s Homecoming parade, played in Hampden, lunch from Golden West, some quiet time and tea, and a visit to AVAM. Zach loved it! 
• Halloween decorations: pumpkins, gourds, pumpkin lights, Elvira, and changing the color of our light (purple and orange)

Good Food

• Dinner at the Restaurant at Patowmack Farms with Auntie Em; a very belated birthday dinner for me!
• Balsamic fruit: plum and pear 
• Agathe’s cake
• Cookies! Frank and Zach got me Crumbl cookies and we tried Midnight cookies
• Frittata muffins
• Pumpkin tomato bisque with goat cheese
• Shoshito peppers and eggplant
• Middle Eastern goodies from Borek’s at the Falls Church farmer’s market
• Atwater’s rye crackers - so good!
• Zucchini and goat cheese fritters
• soy -glazed sweet potatoes
• Delightful yellow Bartlett pears
• Auntie Em’s waffles
• Sperryville muffins (blueberry, pumpkin, savory w/ ham and cheese)

Connection

• Neighbors and party for Belen + Halloween + serendipitous hanging out while the kids are playing
• Helping out with child care with Susan & Jonathan and Jenna and back - a giving loop
• Uber Ladies and Auntie Em and I sharing highs and lows on weekly basis
• Friends at Walk 4 Mtns
• Paige, Sofia, MKC
• Dinner with Katie and Suji
• Chats and support from Tracey C., NJM, and Rae
• Met Chad, Chris, Kevin, and Lana for dinner
• Sharing Grief Companion with Anthony, Kate, and Jess; listening to Believe and sharing with NJM
• Frank and I have started sharing what’s on our heart and mind and I’ve been working to notice and thank him for all the things he does!

Fun and Not So Fun
Personal

• Just a beautiful, glorious October. Every day, so lovely
• Auntie Em’s new house

• Bathroom project complete!
• Loving the concept of Red Threads from Love + Work. I’ve done some thinking and writing about what I notice that no one else does, etc. It’s driving my questions for Zach’s teachers at the parent-teacher conference
• Reading
• Rez Life (identified some language immersion schools for possible giving)
• Valentina Salazar is Not a Monster Hunter by Zoraida Córdova
• ARD
• Listening
• Layla Saad, Brene Brown Dare to Lead and Unlocking Us and Love + Work on Audible
• Think Again on Audible
• Watching: Girlfriends, High on the Hog, and From Scratch

Not So Fun

• YMCA. It was hard to communicate for weeks!
• Brene Brown’s interview with Beto O'Rourke should have had a trigger warning.

Professional

• ARC work on DISC and Values, Leadership Institute, some unexpected kudos for my product training
• DEIB
• Coffee talk with Viyas; he asked, listened, and heard me
• Not so fun…working on the content of our Sexual Harassment compliance module was intense!

Z and F have the same smile!

Tough and Joyous (Aug 27-Sept 30)

Zach of Note

• One trip to the farmer's market with Logan, Cora, and Mary
• Commitment to learning to whistle
• Playing with some old toys
• Doing a great job with chores and taking care of himself
• Playing with the neighborhood kids (rising lava game); new neighbors: Gwen and Jackie

• Dinoland and Spots
• Soccer is back; the team (Team Honduras) hugs after goals. Awww
• FIFA is the video game of choice
• Zach has continued to have "episodes," aka sleep walking tht seem to be tied to not drinking enough water/dehydration. Sigh...even as it's gotten cooler, he's had to drink a lot of water
• Back to School and ...
• Gwen and family
• Loves to walk to the bus on his own
• A cold on the first two weekends
• Family Science Night
• Back to School Night: pretty unimpressive; there are 26 kids in his class!
• Movie Night: we found Ethan and family and Z and E had a blast

Zach's Words and Songs

• Apparently he said the Pledge of Allegiance at school all last year
• Who, When, Wow, esp Bass Reeves and Jim Thorpe
• Story Pirates and stories in the morning. He still loves "I Bit My Knee."
• Zach is reading to and with Daddy
• Jokes: 
• What do you call a sea gull that flies over the bay? A baygull
• Why do you take an extra pair of socks when you play golf? In case you get a hole in one. 
• Watching Despicable Me 2 when he was sick
• Singing passionately along with Rob Thomas, enjoying some Great Big Sea/Alan Doyle

Empathy Corner

• "I hate my teammates," after a goal was blocked in soccer video game. Let's try for: "I'm frustrated; why did you do that?"
• My frustration with Monopoly and Frank rubbing my back and saying over and over, "game, game, game." Eventually, we all laughed
• Zach still love to do art things with me even though art isn't exactly his thing because he knows I like it. 
• Enveloped Zach in a 30+ second hug. Thanks Emily and Amelia Nagoski!
• Zach loves SEL (Social Emotional Learning), mostly because there are bean bags and fidget spinners and he gets 5 mins of free play, but still!

What I'm Working On

• How to handle a friend who's a bad influence
• Gratitude
• Loving kindness meditation
• Massage (6-ish minutes twice/day)
• Trying to ask: if you had more time, what would you spend it working on? 
• Thinking about the excellent suggestion of asking friends to engage with: "What was your high and low for the week?"

Health Corner

• Final appointment with Dr. Hammer and importance of massage
• Enough stress that I had to pull out my pillow potion; 
• Seltzer is bad for your teeth
• Two fillings. OWWW!!!

Family Fun

• Last trips to the pool and the Water Mine for Frank and Zach
• Basketball and tennis for Susan and Zach
• Zach and I went to Cirque de Soleil's Kurios, and there was true awe!
• The Lewes Beach weekend for Zach's 2-month early birthday (the Bay Bridge and views are AWESOME, the farmer's market, bike/roller blade, Monopoly, made up beach games, beach art, a light ship, a pirate's cruise, and ice cream from DQ!)
• Planning for Halloweeen: Zach to a be a Ghostbuser, and Daddy and I will be ghosts (costume out of cheese cloth, perhaps)

Good Food

• Zach is learning how to tell if peaches are ripe! Yay!
• Basil pesto
• Auntie Em's blueberry muffins, blueberry lemon cake, ratatouille, and tomato sauce
• Lots of veggie roasting
• Fig bread salad
• Lebanese Taverna's watermelon salad, cauliflower salad, and baba ganoush. So good!
• Baked balsamic fruit (plums, figs, pears), zucchini hummus, yogurt and dill dips, gnocci
• Old World Bread's lavash crackers and brown butter cookie
• Fig cake from Siga's recipe
• Auntie Em's "Good Job Not Dying" cake
• Garam Masala chickpea chili 
• Peanut butter banana muffins

Connection

• To the pool with Auntie Em
• Time with Kathleen at Union Market
• Zach visted Gamma and Daddy Bob
• Getting to know new neighbors, Jenna, Danny, Gwen, and Jackie (Gwen said to her mom, "do you think zach will like my dress?" Mom: "I wouldn't count on it." and Gwen: "Zach's my boyfriend." Jenna: "Yes, he's a boy and he's your friend." Jackie screams out his name in excitement. (Jackie will be 3 in April.)
• Congrats not dying party of Bolognese pizza and amazing strawberry cake
• Lots of playing with the neighborhood kids and general neighborhood camraderie
• Claire responded to my LinkedIn message from five years ago!
• Trying to pen pal it with NJM from GoCanvas
• Uber Ladies weekend in Lewes, which was fun and hard
• Dinner to Katie and Suji because of Suji's accident

Fun and Not So Fun Stuff 

Personal

• Researching Northern Michigan with fortswupnorth!
• I made it to the pool a few times with Auntie Em - very fun! And one day I took a shower at her house post-swim, and it was like a spa day
• Auntie Em fostered another cat, Eva
• It stayed HOT, HOT, HOT, HOT for so long. So many mosquitoes. I killed two in my curtains. Yuck!
• Dance class at Union Market and a Sunday Zumba dance party
• Listening to the local LGBTQIA+ Radio 99.5
• Cleaned out my room and a donation extravaganza (just scratching the surface, but still!)
• A haircut
• Hung up the lights that Paige gave us, and they're so fun
• Flower arranging
• I remind Mary Kay of the importance of being intentional. Yay!
• Adding balance to my values along with growth, caring/kindness, and authenticity
• Exploring voice lessons for more singing in my life
• A house for Auntie Em in Herndon
• Continuing to chip away at the bathroom project!
• Fights and arguments in the neighborhood and at soccer practice. Soccer practice!

Reading/Listening/Watching: 

• Podcasts: 
• Layla Saad
• Brene Brown came back! 
• Listened to "Inside the Adolescent Mental Health Crisis" and found out about Matt Richtel and bought Dad some of his fiction
• HBR with Ami Jah on Peak Mind and STOP (Stop, Take a breath, Observe, and Proceed)
• Books: Frderick Joseph's The Black Friend: On Being a Better White Person; Between the World and Me by Ta-Nehisi Coates, Silver Sparrow by Tayari Jones, and Love from A to Z by S.K. Ali
• Regular ARD reading
• Shows: Virgin River, Girlfriends, Mo 

Professional

• Breakfast with Judie at Lake Anne Coffee House
• Connections continued with Tracey C. 
• Red Threads and Nicole
• Chad the Tennesotan, artist. 
• Reading Out of Office and Love + Work
• HBR article on positive with and negative with your team as opposed to positive against and negative against. 
• DEIB and what is on your mind, IT strengths, Leaders Build Trust
• Coffee chat with Nina Everflow, who is the instructional designer working with Layla Saad

Quotes

• It's not about being alone; it's about feeling as if no one cares. (Muriel to Hope in Virgin River)
• The craft of writing as the art of thinking (from Between the World and Me by Ta-Nehisi Coates)
• The classroom is a prison of others thoughts and the library is a world open to you and your interests (from Between the World and Me by Ta-Nehisi Coates)
• When we fight, you go straight to breaking up. Where's the middle ground? Where we work on behavior change. (Yvonne to William on Girlfriends)

Michigan 2022

Travel Fun

Frank left at 6:30am in the car, and Zach and I left home at 10am. Mary and Cora drove us to the Wiehle Reston East Metro. We got the Flyer to Dulles airport and took the train at the airport to our gate. After a slight delay, we flew from Dulles to Detroit. Upon arrival in Detroit, we made our way to their Michigan Flyer to travel to Ann Arbor. Frank picked us up just before 4pm, and we headed north, arriving at our cabin at about 9pm. 

Overall, we really enjoyed and finished I Dream of Space (started on trip to Brevard) and listened to all of You Go First both by Erin Entrada Kelly. We listened to most of Mr. Chickee's Funny Money by Christopher Paul Curtis, but our interest definitely fizzled. 

Weather

We had the best weather we'd had in years for the two weeks. It rained some on four days, but otherwise it was sunny and not too hot!

Week 1, Curtis, Michigan, on South Manistique Lake: 

Frank and Zach took advantage of the paddle boats and played a lot in the water. Frank took out a kayak. Zach and I enjoyed the Erickson Center for the Arts. I enjoyed some walks off of Wolfe Road and out to Long Point. The internet was not really usable, so my attempts to work were pretty unsuccessful. As a family, we took two fun day trips: one to Pictured Rocks on Lake Superior and the other to Mackinac Island. On the Pictured Rocks day, Zach and Frank also took the National Park Service boat tour. (I got sea sick when Frank and I took the boat trip on our last visit.) We enjoyed the Seney Wildlife Refuge despite the bugs, made fires and s'mores on three evenings, and rocked out to local radio. 

Boys

There were four cabins rented, representing three families, and six boys. Three of the six boys were six years old, so they had a blast playing together. Zach especially loved playing with Nathan who was on vacation with his two older teenage brothers. One day, Frank took Zach to the local zoo with Nathan's family. (It wasn't too awkward.)

Week 1 to Week 2: 

We enjoyed the cloudy and slightly rainy drive from Curtis to Crystal Mountain. We stopped in Charlevoix for crepes from That French Place. We enjoyed a nice walk around town while we waited for our food and saw the Emerald Isle come in from Beaver Island. Everyone agreed that That French Place provided the most delicious food from savory and sweet crepes to amazing pastries that we sampled over several days. We stopped at Royal Farms, Inc. and loaded up on cherries (still yummy), blueberries, peaches, and slices of cherry pie. 

Week 2, Crystal Mountain, near Thompsonville, Michigan: 

In Crystal Mountain, we enjoyed the Legacy Art Park. I went many times on my own as did Frank, and I took Zach twice. Our house had a fussball table and checkers. Both were a huge hit for Zach. Frank and Zach went mountain biking twice and squeezed in three visits to the Alpine Slide. We had lunch out at the Crystal Mountain quad one afternoon. As a family, we visited Arcadia Dunes, Crystal Lake, the Betsie River and Leelanau Trails, and Esch Beach on Lake Michigan. We had fun with rock art. We took a day trip to Traverse City and tried Salt 2 Sugar, and Zach and I rode into Traverse City on their free community bus. It was hard to explain to the drivers that we had no destination in mind! We tubed on the Platte River, and bold and adventurous Zach swung into the river off of a rope swing multiple times!

Zach asked if I was eating grass.

Food

To start, we packed two coolers full of food since our first destination was in the Upper Peninsula. This worked out really well as the food options in the UP were not as numerous. We found a farm stand with peaches, blueberries, and zucchini. Otherwise, we made our own wonderful meals with incredients from home. 

In week two, we stopped in Traverse City at Oryana for staples and tried out Peace Love and Donuts and Bay Bread Co. We tried Salt 2 Sugar, but missed Spanglish (sad). We went back to Farm Club and had delightful tempura fried in season veggies, visited St. Ambrose twice, and spent our last night at Iron Fish. 

Walking

The walking in close proximity to Lilly's on the Lake was right on some major roads, but I did enjoy walking on country roads, especially Wolfe and Long Point Roads. In Crystal Mountain, I enjoyed the Michigan Legacy Art Park every day! 

Superlatives

Unexpected: 

• We got cold. At our first place, they ask guests to bring their own pillows and linens, blankets too. For whatever reason, blankets were not packed. I think it was hard to imagine needing them, so we got cold a few nights!
• Michigan has a thriving small business community in cannabis sales, and I had several moments of thinking I smelled skunk, but in fact, it was marijuana. 
• We had no access to laundry. I swore our second house in Crystal Lake had it, but alas no. 

Grateful: The sound machine was a savior when staying in homes that are very close to other people!

Best Meals Out: That French Place, Charlevoix

Best Cupcakes: We got a variety pack of six cupcakes from Zingerman's. Very yummy. 

Best Pastries: That French Place, Charlevoix

Best Outdoor Eating Experience

• Z: St. Ambrose
• S: Crystal Mountain Quad
• F: Shipwreck, Curtis, MI (after Frank and Zach used the paddle boat to get there)

Best Drink

• Z: lemon cherry slushie at Iron Fish
• S: ginger beer at Iron Fish
• F: smoked pineapple mixed drink at Iron Fish

Best Ice Cream

• Z: Dirt Sundae
• S: strawberry ice cream at Scoops 22 in Sutton's Bay
• F: Mudslide sundae and lemon blueberry

Check out our photos here.

High Summer (July 8 - Aug 5)

Zach of Note

• Zach enjoyed Drumline so much I’ve been trying to do some research on drumlines and marching bands. I think he would like that! I have signed up to follow some drum lines on Instagram. 
• Camp, camp, camp! All day outside. 
• He’s met so many kids; Frank says everywhere they go, he knows kids. 
• Quinn and Fintan were at camp (from soccer)
• He has learned to thumb wrestle
• The second camp session took him to Udvar Hazy, Launch trampoline park, and the RA truck show.
• One of his camp counselors called him Da Man from Dammann (it’s started)
• Zach is on the hunt for arcades. Launch had one, and he had Frank take him back. They went to Crooked Run for the arcade, and he played games at Foster’s Grille. I dug up one of my old change purses and gave it to him. Telling him the history, he said, “Maybe if I have kids, I’ll give this change purse to them, like you gave this one to me.” 
• There were several consecutive days of HOT, HOT, HOT temps. We are now tracking Zach’s “episodes.” On several days after hot days at camp, he was dehydrated and likely had heat exhaustion. He didn’t have enough to drink, and he woke in the middle of the night, sort of sleep walking. He would cry and whimper and either walk around or sit up in bed. He doesn’t remember it the next day. We checked in with the doctor, and she said to keep an eye on it. All of the episodes have made sense after hot days in the NOVA area, but he did have one episode in MIchigan. It was at the end of the week (Friday PM to Saturday AM) after staying up late and playing with the boys in MIchigan that it happened again. It’s very unsettling, but I don’t think it’s anything to worry about. 
• Frank and Zach to Udvar Hazy and the movie about aircraft carriers scared Zach
• Zach’s coach from last soccer session is going to coach again, and we requested that Fintan and Zach be together on a team!
• Frank and Zach and the pool and Frank and I both have taken him to the Water Mine quite a few times. One of the times, we took in the Mickey Mouse ball and so many people wanted to play volleyball with us. That was pretty fun!
• The 2022-2023 school calendar is such a challenge. The year is extended by one week and there are SO MANY days off.

Zach's Words and Songs

• We did some reading of Piggy and Elephant books together, but Zach really resists reading, even though he can read. 
• Meredith reminded me that boys develop their fine motor skills later, so I have backed off of writing and drawing. He has forgotten some letters and numbers though. We did do some counting and a refresh on coins. 
• I searched for some podcasts to increase my child development understanding, but did not find anything good. One of the podcasts was incredibly inaccessible, but it did discuss the power of storytelling. Zach seemed to enjoy it when I started a story and he embellished it. It helped him tell me things that he might not otherwise share, so I need to try that again! Begin with “once upon a time,” and end with “the end.”
• We still really love the Story Pirates episode with “I Bit My Knee.” We sing it. Talk about crystals, and placebos, gazebos, Tim Tebo, Aikido, and valentinos!
• Reading: Piggy and Elephant, the Gollywhopper Games, What is NASA?, and so many more. Tracking all on Beanstack for the summer reading challenge!
• Zach and I laughed at this quote from Kate DiCamillo's book, Stella Endicott and the Anything Is Possible Poem, “My door is always open, except for when it’s closed.” (The principal said this in one of her books that we read.)
• Zach and I love Who, When, Wow, and we joke about the Sacagawea episode and the bit on Charbonneau and how Lewis and Clark mispronounce his name. Tee hee. 
• He also loves the episodes on Bass Reeves and Jim Thorpe. When he listed to the one on Thurgood Marshall, he said he’d been important in letting black and white kids go to school together. 

What I'm Working On

• Emotions are data. One of my colleagues mentioned that she has three teen/pre-teen daughters and there are “so many feelings in her house.” I thought afterwards that she should emphasize that emotions are just data instead of encouraging them to “be rational.” 
• Getting lots of good sleep. 
• Continuing with a morning practice of loving kindness meditation, stating a goal for health, connection, and purpose, listing out 10 things to be grateful/thankful for on a daily basis, and a meditation: working to focus on the present and notice what comes up. 
• Practicing compassion, including for myself

Health Corner

• My bathing suit has been uncomfortable when I have worn it this summer, prompting me to look for something different for swimming. 
• In the last few weeks, my chest has felt more numb. I have also felt tired on vacation. More so that I remember. 

Family Fun

• Started watching Annedroids on Amazon
• Inside jokes: 
• “Are you insane?” 
• “The food is here,” on the Panera bag. 
• Zach loves Chipotle (Not really, but we don't think he hates it. He was vehement that it is not the best after talking with kids from camp, so we tease him that it's "so good."

Good Food

• Birthday cookies and dinner by Auntie Em. Thank you!
• Auntie Em = best potatoes and best cookies! :) 
• Mighty Meals tofu meals and the salmon and potatoes
• Iced Tazo passion and turmeric tea
• Something to check out: https://cleangreensimple.com/article/best-mushroom-coffee-brands/
• Fave Synergy kombucha is Tangerine Dream and finally found it at Whole Foods!
• Lavender shortbread with lemon icing from a bakery in Montana from Judie!
• Cafe Sano’s lavash crackers
• Pupusas and refried beans from the Lake Anne Market bodega. They deliver on DoorDash. Yay!
• Started sprinkling resistant starch on/in food
• Veggies + eggs and bread with butter as a standard lunch
• Auntie Em’s peanut sauce
• Auntie Em’s blueberry muffins
• First pears of the season

Connection

• We have gone with Mary and Cora (and sometimes Logan) to the farmer’s market on Saturdays. Even when it’s been blazing hot, we get our provisions and stop at the art gallery, at the bodega, at the playgrounds, at the Little Art Gallery, at Nancy’s gallery. We do the art project and the kids get chocolates for showing their art. Very fun. 
• Frank and Zach have played with Jermiah at the Water Mine
• Jenifer and Katie
• Pam
• Nicole-Joy
• Kathleen
• Mary Kay
• Auntie Em
• Lunch with Mom and Dad at Foster’s Grille for the Zach hand off
• Siga
• Zach spent the weekend with Gamma and Daddy Bob in Woodstock
• Auntie Em is fostering another kitty!
• Great Falls hike with Frank
• Kate’s support!
• Tracey and she’s going to Whalburgers!

Fun and Not So Fun

Personal

• Siding project complete. The dark blue looks so good!
• Kansas voted against a constitutional amendment to restrict abortion! This made me very happy!
• I started a monthly donation to assist with acces to abortion. 
• In listening to Thrive, I read about resources to help make talking about death happen and be more acceptable. Transition singers, death dinners, etc. I looked them all up. The https://deathoverdinner.org/ looked pretty cool, but I filled out the prompts and didn’t receive an email back with the resources I selected.

• One of the Zinnia’s Paige planted bloomed. My spider plant is happy
• Reading: 1619, An American Marriage
• Audio Book: No Hard Feelings, Thrive by Arianna Huffington, and some of Your Child’s Strengths
• Podcasts: Become a Good Ancestor on Radical Friendship, Lifekit podcast on intentional friendships shared the idea that you can’t expect thing things to happen organically. Be intentional about what you want to talk about and make time for friends. Block it on your calendar. 
• Watching: Astronomy Club, Kim’s Convenience, and Virgin River; watched some of Stranger Things with Frank, but decided it was a no-go! I did not need to harken back to Freddy Krueger or Chuckie horror movies

Fun and Not So Fun

We are so happy Moonstone is staying in the family, but it was sad to see Mama Pearl and Onxy go. 

Professional

• I do want to pursue social/emotional education + anti-racism + mindfulness as my next career path!
• This might help me figure out what’s next: https://oasis.becomeagoodancestor.com/claim-your-space-a-self-study-to-uncover-your-next-steps-as-a-changemaker?coupon=CHANGEMAKER
• The DM-GC bilingual badge with Rae! Knocking out projects on DEIB and the benchmarks with Rae, GC PT0 or “Intro to GC” and Career Pathing. A great session with the BDR team, the IT team on strengths, and fantastic sessions with the Leaders Build Trust team!
• Sigh. I lost Faith and Kiersten. Sad to see them go. Weird that there are now two people on the team that don’t know anything about my cancer. 

I love this idea: Support for Loved Ones

Create a box full of meaningful quotes, poems, or funny jokes. Maybe even pictures. A box like this can get someone through hard times. The ones that are most meaningful, keep close - perhaps in an envelope next to your bed. This helps with connections to others and knowing they are sending positive love and energy.

Western North Carolina (July 3-9, 2022)

Trip Down: 

• Easy, breezy
• We brought food to eat on the road and powered down the highway, hitting no traffic. 
• We stopped in TN for gas, and Zach got to try his first Icee (blue raspberry and cherry mixed) for ~$2. (We had just talked about Icees the night before when the whole family had a holiday picnic at Emily's house, and we all shared food memories!)
• We hiked on a small section of the AT where the trail crossed railroad tracks, right next to the Nolichucky River, and I was reminded of Chucky's Trading Post and Uncle Jim and Aunt Terri

Driving Stories: 

• Story Pirates episode: I Bit My Knee and the Cat Who Could Spell. You must trust. Trust you must. (We listened to this episode four times and Zach listened twice on his own!)
• The Who, When, Wow and Sacagawea (I love that one.)
• Listening to We Dream of Space by Erin Entrada Kelly
  

The Highlights

• Arrived and spent 36 hours with Van and 48 with Meredith and Mary Pepper
• Meredith made a tasty meal from Mary Pepper's Radish meal kit.
• On a related note, we talked about how Radish could also mean "rad-ish" and I taught Zach and MP, the pinky/thumb hand movement to indicate rad or "excellent" a la Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure. 
• Zach and Mary Pepper hit it off. He also really like liked her, and said he "felt like Kyle" from Project MC2, and we had to tell him that she's family and he can't date family. :)
• We walked to the park and playground and went out on the lake in kayaks and raced each other. We visited the pool, took naps, ate ice cream, and headed into town for fireworks. We had Detroit-style pizza from Jet's, and it was definitely tasty!
• Zach did ask about Mary Pepper's dad, and he said, "Where's her dad?" MP told him to ask Meredith, and we did. A: Our family is just Meredith and MP, and Meredith really wanted a baby (MP), and a doctor helped her do that.
• It was hot in Brevard and Asheville! Zach got stung by a sweat bee. I'd forgotten about them. We also stopped at a bust of a farmer's market, but Zach got to try Chiclets gum. So, there was that. 
• The area near Pisgah National Forest and DuPont State Forest are in temperate rain forest, and there was rain every day. The thunderstorms were pretty spectacular and the lightning could be impressive. 
• We all enjoyed the screened in porch and ceiling fans. No AC the whole week. 
• Frank and Zach played ping pong, had paddle board battles, and tried out mountain biking 
• I took Zach for a hike, and we went exploring for donuts, pastries, lunch, milk at Dollar General, and into Brevard to a playground and Asheville to meet up with my friend, Michelle and her kids. 
• We all enjoyed the pool at Connestee a lot as well. He lost his goggles. :(
• Frank, Zach, and I had a nice dinner at Oskar Blues. A walk for me post-dinner and corn hole for Frank and Zach.

What We Learned: 

• Meredith put us on to reading the Mo Willems books and having Zach read Piggie and me read Gerald (elephant)
• We also learned the game: My ship went to London and when I returned, I brought back a.... (We played a lot after family left and with Michelle and family)
• Meredith told me about Mo Willems concept of a dinner doodle, which I like. 
• The house has the  Mr. and Miss books that Agatha bought for me and Emily, and in one of them Virginia commented on each page of the book. "This is dumb," or "I like this." Very opinionated. Teehee!

Trip Home: 

• Stopped for lunch at a Harvest Table and the best part = raspberry bar, 7-layer bar, chocolate cake, and peanut butter and chocolate bar
• Crash on I-81, so we took off on back roads and ended up extending our drive for 4 hours! We stopped at Homestead Creamery for ice cream, drove by a small section of Smith Mountain Lake, and stopped at Wood Ridge Farm Brewery which lots of space and quite a bit of covered space for when it's super-sunny or rainy. I had farm-fresh battered summer squash chips, and they made fresh to order wood-fired pizzas and calzone. Definitely a big winner in Nelson County!
• Car games: what will we see next? a barn, tractor, trailer, run away truck ramp, etc. and Hey, Man. Also, some "I Spy."

All photos are here.

Lots of Growing

First and last day of school 2021-22

Zach of Note

• Adventure bucks concept - $5 for cleaning up and building roller coasters on own; has not taken off
• Towards the end of school, in the last few weeks, he wanted to walk to the bus stop by himself, and he started leaving before me, and I would meet him there. Field day at school when the school called me and told me Zach was sick with a temperature (within hours of my having seen him at the school for his field day, and he was fine. It turns out it was another Zach.) 
• The end of school and Senorita Quintanilla's letter to her students. So sweet. Mom, Dad, and I all cried. 
• The final soccer practices and games. At practice, they did a couple sessions of kids v. dads
• Soccer camp. Nothing but outside time for 6 hours!

• Transportation fun: Zach and Susan traveled to the zoo by metro and took the bus back to Farragut West. 
• Zach loved his bike and thanked Frank over and over for getting it for him
• Mille Bornes and cheskers

• Pre-travel soccer tryouts for Zach!
• Zach got some kind of sickness/illness and had a temperature of 101 overnight. He alternately cried and laughed when we went into his room. We don’t think he was really even awake, but it was definitely scary! We asked him if he knew us, and he couldn’t tell us who we were. He did call me a dove, which was correct from our reading of What Bird Are You? 

Zach's Words and Songs

• He’s been using the word “literally” a lot
• Reading: When Stars Are Scattered, 143-Story Treehouse, Treasure Chest books, What Bird Are You, and so many more
• Beanstak reading challenge
• Zach and I are reading so many books with Agathas. Okay, so my aunt, Agathe, FL’s wife, and now Fan Girl and the Treasure Chest have an Agatha. It’s nuts! 
• Hamentaschen morphed to handtaschen
• Zach songs: “I’m begging, begging you…”
• Podcasts: Who When Wow on Sacagawea and Bass Reeves and Jim Thorpe - so good
• Story Pirates and “I Bit My Knee” and “The Cat Who Could Spell”
• “Regreets” from MC2; in Project mc2, I love the smart girls!
• I’m trying to institute a daily writing and drawing practice!
• One morning Zach asked Alexa to play the “best songs by Europe” to listen to while he played video games!

Empathy Corner

• It’s funny how wearing a dress in summer makes you look fancy! Zach told me I looked pretty! Aww
• I got another, “You're the best mommy”
• Zach visited Mom and Dad for two nights instead of the one that has been the norm, and he missed me
• Still working on Zach being okay with entertaining himself, and related to that enjoying spending time on his own. I tell him: Do you know who is awesome to hang out with? You, Zach! Zach is awesome to hang out with!
• Roses and thorns
• Practicing gratitude, intention and thinking about what I’ll do for health, connection, and purpose
• We are getting better at breathing in times of crisis. Me especially. And remembering that emotions are just data...still a work in progress, but I think about it!

What I'm Working On

• We are getting better at breathing in times of crisis. Me especially. And remembering that emotions are just data...still a work in progress, but I think about it! (Yes, intentionally written twice)
• Meditation, gratitude, mindfulness, and kindness toward others
• The past 5-6 weeks have been busy. We traveled to Lewes and the mountains of North Carolina. I had my writing retreat in Sperryville. We saw friends we haven’t seen in months and family too. With some of the family, it had been YEARS! And it was hard. It would have been hard anyway, but I had to deal with 1.) how would I interact with people who knew about my breast cancer. Would they ask about it? Yes, in some cases, and no, in others. It was very invalidating when people pretend like this huge thing in your life didn’t happen at all. 2.) how would I deal with people who didn’t know. I learned from each interaction, and they were mostly very disappointing, discouraging, and unsatisfying, and time does help with healing…
• Who has done well? Paige, Meredith, and Mary from 78 Acres
• Don’t expect things to happen organically. Be intentional. 

Family Fun

• The baby birds nesting in the bush on our patio
• Frank and Zach and the pool and the Water Mine. Zach calls it the Water Mind
• Frank and Zach and Udvar Hazy and the pool and biking
• Zach and Susan went into DC to see Drumfolk. (It's the story of the Stono Rebellion of 1739 and the Negro Act of 1740 and tells the story through dance of how from drumming, working in a rhythm, drumlines, beatboxing, and scratching, were born of necessity and innovation. Very powerful. Zach liked the dance that used a whistle best.) It was so good, and he was such a good audience member! Afterwards, we got ice cream and he played in a splash pad
  

Good Food

• Strawberry and Oreo milkshakes from Potbelly’s for the last day of school
• The Corner Store blueberry muffins
• Before and After’s chicken salad croissant
• Cherries
• Emily's lentils and fresh veg/herb white beans - Delightful
• Spread (cottage cheese, scallions, mustard, walnuts)

Connection

• Uber buddies beach trip with Kate, Stephen, Mary Kay, and Hance
• Continued check-ins with Cat and Jason re: surgeries and breast cancer
• Tracey from work
• Card from Joy at work
• Dinner with Sam, Julia, and Zahra
• Dinner with Jeff, Sam, and Penni and Frank and Zach met Jeff and Sam for a hike at Great Falls
• A video call one evening with Sam
• Zach visited Mom and Dad
• Paige and helping each other through
• Nicole-Joy and connection; we had a great time sharing about our journals as a teenager!
• Zach and I had dinner with Katie and Suji
• Talked with Kathleen and Meredith
• Yvette and her beautiful photo (a view of Lake Michigan) from her b’day gathering
• Frank and Zach to Lake Anna with the cousins
• Two farmer’s market Saturday fun days with Mary and Cora
• July 2nd family picnic at Auntie Em’s 
• July 4th family picnic in Brevard, NC. My first fireworks in years
• Drive down to Connestee Falls and time with Van, Meredith, and Mary Pepper

Fun and Not So Fun

Personal

• Working through challenges and invisibility and how to advocate for myself with friends and family. Since things don’t happen organically, I advocated for what I needed and got time to chat with Annie. Go me! Time heals, but it’s tough to get through it. 
• A reference to Clue: “flames, creeping up the side of my face.” In the movie, everyone ignores her and keeps going! That sounds familiar.
• Frank as an advocate for me!
• My writing retreat; so good except for So. Many. Flies. 
• I enjoyed hiking all around on roads and trails just below Shenandoah National Park
• Every day I ran into people on my remote roads/trails, so someone would have seen me. 
• My writing was not as focused or productive as 2021, but the three-day weekend was restorative. See priorites below.
• Reading: Finished Pachinko, Fan Girl, 1619
• Audio Book: Finished Peak Mind and No Hard Feelings; started Scary Smart, Thrive, and We Dream of Space (with Zach)
• Podcasts: Many fewer because of practicing more mindfulness on walks, Mo Gawdat interview, Well-Read Black Girl, Teaching Hard History, Become a Good Ancestor, Ten Percent Happier
• Music of the Carolina Chocolate Drops and Adia Victoria from Teaching Hard History
• Watching: Kim’s Convenience and Colin in Black and White
• Power of breathing from Daniel Goleman on Ten Percent Happier that Buddhism doesn’t emphasize altering breathing, but Indian tradition does and it looks like belly breathing can be powerfully effective
• Paige shared an article from The Atlantic: We can, in fact, find immense fullness when we pay attention to smaller and smaller things. The Buddhist master Thich Nhat Hanh explains this in his book The Miracle of Mindfulness: “While washing the dishes one should only be washing the dishes, which means that while washing the dishes one should be completely aware of the fact that one is washing the dishes.” Why? If we are thinking about the past or future, “we are not alive during the time we are washing the dishes.” 
• I like the idea of imagining yourself happy and satisfied in 5 years, what is there, and how do you get to that!
• Inspirational Statements that I love: "It's just a for now, not a forever"
• I got my first free Life with Cancer massage and it was okay. I experienced sharp pains. 
• Attended Self-Compassion Facebook Live event and Noon Mindfulness workshop
• Talked with https://learnmindfulnessnow.com/ about learning mindfulness to teach others

Not So Fun

• Roe v. Wade overturned. So sad, disappointing, discouraging, and upsetting, so I started a recurring donation to National Network of Abortion Funds 

Professional

• Working with Ian in talking through our DEIB next steps with consultants. He posted on LinkedIn how valuable this was for him. Awww…nice!
• Onsite/offsite with the team. Nice to meet everyone in person and we did a Pinot’s Palette painting event. Pretty cool. Saw Ashley R. in the office

Priorities as of 6/20/22

1. Daily intention: Health, Purpose, Connection

1. Health & Purpose: Teach mindfulness, kindness, compassion, and how to be a good human.

1. 12 mins of mindfulness daily (what I’m doing for health, connection, purpose - talk to; don’t avoid neighbors and intention with Zach (what are you looking forward to and what is your intention, etc., doing nice things for others, roses and thorns)

2. What’s on your mind? And what else? What is the real challenge here for you? What does support look like? What was useful for you?

3. ARC content

4. Gifts of Imperfection pod squad - group text with a high and low for the day or rose and thorn to then be able to follow up. 

5. Continue roses and thorns, loving kindness and ending and beginning the day with thanks and gratitude

2. Connection: Make space for connection

2. Seek out opportunities to interact with a truly diverse group. 

1. Around food?

2. Marches and social activism - Roe v. Wade, ERA, Black Lives Matter