Western North Carolina (July 3-9, 2022)

Trip Down: 

• Easy, breezy
• We brought food to eat on the road and powered down the highway, hitting no traffic. 
• We stopped in TN for gas, and Zach got to try his first Icee (blue raspberry and cherry mixed) for ~$2. (We had just talked about Icees the night before when the whole family had a holiday picnic at Emily's house, and we all shared food memories!)
• We hiked on a small section of the AT where the trail crossed railroad tracks, right next to the Nolichucky River, and I was reminded of Chucky's Trading Post and Uncle Jim and Aunt Terri

Driving Stories: 

• Story Pirates episode: I Bit My Knee and the Cat Who Could Spell. You must trust. Trust you must. (We listened to this episode four times and Zach listened twice on his own!)
• The Who, When, Wow and Sacagawea (I love that one.)
• Listening to We Dream of Space by Erin Entrada Kelly
  

The Highlights

• Arrived and spent 36 hours with Van and 48 with Meredith and Mary Pepper
• Meredith made a tasty meal from Mary Pepper's Radish meal kit.
• On a related note, we talked about how Radish could also mean "rad-ish" and I taught Zach and MP, the pinky/thumb hand movement to indicate rad or "excellent" a la Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure. 
• Zach and Mary Pepper hit it off. He also really like liked her, and said he "felt like Kyle" from Project MC2, and we had to tell him that she's family and he can't date family. :)
• We walked to the park and playground and went out on the lake in kayaks and raced each other. We visited the pool, took naps, ate ice cream, and headed into town for fireworks. We had Detroit-style pizza from Jet's, and it was definitely tasty!
• Zach did ask about Mary Pepper's dad, and he said, "Where's her dad?" MP told him to ask Meredith, and we did. A: Our family is just Meredith and MP, and Meredith really wanted a baby (MP), and a doctor helped her do that.
• It was hot in Brevard and Asheville! Zach got stung by a sweat bee. I'd forgotten about them. We also stopped at a bust of a farmer's market, but Zach got to try Chiclets gum. So, there was that. 
• The area near Pisgah National Forest and DuPont State Forest are in temperate rain forest, and there was rain every day. The thunderstorms were pretty spectacular and the lightning could be impressive. 
• We all enjoyed the screened in porch and ceiling fans. No AC the whole week. 
• Frank and Zach played ping pong, had paddle board battles, and tried out mountain biking 
• I took Zach for a hike, and we went exploring for donuts, pastries, lunch, milk at Dollar General, and into Brevard to a playground and Asheville to meet up with my friend, Michelle and her kids. 
• We all enjoyed the pool at Connestee a lot as well. He lost his goggles. :(
• Frank, Zach, and I had a nice dinner at Oskar Blues. A walk for me post-dinner and corn hole for Frank and Zach.

What We Learned: 

• Meredith put us on to reading the Mo Willems books and having Zach read Piggie and me read Gerald (elephant)
• We also learned the game: My ship went to London and when I returned, I brought back a.... (We played a lot after family left and with Michelle and family)
• Meredith told me about Mo Willems concept of a dinner doodle, which I like. 
• The house has the  Mr. and Miss books that Agatha bought for me and Emily, and in one of them Virginia commented on each page of the book. "This is dumb," or "I like this." Very opinionated. Teehee!

Trip Home: 

• Stopped for lunch at a Harvest Table and the best part = raspberry bar, 7-layer bar, chocolate cake, and peanut butter and chocolate bar
• Crash on I-81, so we took off on back roads and ended up extending our drive for 4 hours! We stopped at Homestead Creamery for ice cream, drove by a small section of Smith Mountain Lake, and stopped at Wood Ridge Farm Brewery which lots of space and quite a bit of covered space for when it's super-sunny or rainy. I had farm-fresh battered summer squash chips, and they made fresh to order wood-fired pizzas and calzone. Definitely a big winner in Nelson County!
• Car games: what will we see next? a barn, tractor, trailer, run away truck ramp, etc. and Hey, Man. Also, some "I Spy."

All photos are here.

Lots of Growing

First and last day of school 2021-22

Zach of Note

• Adventure bucks concept - $5 for cleaning up and building roller coasters on own; has not taken off
• Towards the end of school, in the last few weeks, he wanted to walk to the bus stop by himself, and he started leaving before me, and I would meet him there. Field day at school when the school called me and told me Zach was sick with a temperature (within hours of my having seen him at the school for his field day, and he was fine. It turns out it was another Zach.) 
• The end of school and Senorita Quintanilla's letter to her students. So sweet. Mom, Dad, and I all cried. 
• The final soccer practices and games. At practice, they did a couple sessions of kids v. dads
• Soccer camp. Nothing but outside time for 6 hours!

• Transportation fun: Zach and Susan traveled to the zoo by metro and took the bus back to Farragut West. 
• Zach loved his bike and thanked Frank over and over for getting it for him
• Mille Bornes and cheskers

• Pre-travel soccer tryouts for Zach!
• Zach got some kind of sickness/illness and had a temperature of 101 overnight. He alternately cried and laughed when we went into his room. We don’t think he was really even awake, but it was definitely scary! We asked him if he knew us, and he couldn’t tell us who we were. He did call me a dove, which was correct from our reading of What Bird Are You? 

Zach's Words and Songs

• He’s been using the word “literally” a lot
• Reading: When Stars Are Scattered, 143-Story Treehouse, Treasure Chest books, What Bird Are You, and so many more
• Beanstak reading challenge
• Zach and I are reading so many books with Agathas. Okay, so my aunt, Agathe, FL’s wife, and now Fan Girl and the Treasure Chest have an Agatha. It’s nuts! 
• Hamentaschen morphed to handtaschen
• Zach songs: “I’m begging, begging you…”
• Podcasts: Who When Wow on Sacagawea and Bass Reeves and Jim Thorpe - so good
• Story Pirates and “I Bit My Knee” and “The Cat Who Could Spell”
• “Regreets” from MC2; in Project mc2, I love the smart girls!
• I’m trying to institute a daily writing and drawing practice!
• One morning Zach asked Alexa to play the “best songs by Europe” to listen to while he played video games!

Empathy Corner

• It’s funny how wearing a dress in summer makes you look fancy! Zach told me I looked pretty! Aww
• I got another, “You're the best mommy”
• Zach visited Mom and Dad for two nights instead of the one that has been the norm, and he missed me
• Still working on Zach being okay with entertaining himself, and related to that enjoying spending time on his own. I tell him: Do you know who is awesome to hang out with? You, Zach! Zach is awesome to hang out with!
• Roses and thorns
• Practicing gratitude, intention and thinking about what I’ll do for health, connection, and purpose
• We are getting better at breathing in times of crisis. Me especially. And remembering that emotions are just data...still a work in progress, but I think about it!

What I'm Working On

• We are getting better at breathing in times of crisis. Me especially. And remembering that emotions are just data...still a work in progress, but I think about it! (Yes, intentionally written twice)
• Meditation, gratitude, mindfulness, and kindness toward others
• The past 5-6 weeks have been busy. We traveled to Lewes and the mountains of North Carolina. I had my writing retreat in Sperryville. We saw friends we haven’t seen in months and family too. With some of the family, it had been YEARS! And it was hard. It would have been hard anyway, but I had to deal with 1.) how would I interact with people who knew about my breast cancer. Would they ask about it? Yes, in some cases, and no, in others. It was very invalidating when people pretend like this huge thing in your life didn’t happen at all. 2.) how would I deal with people who didn’t know. I learned from each interaction, and they were mostly very disappointing, discouraging, and unsatisfying, and time does help with healing…
• Who has done well? Paige, Meredith, and Mary from 78 Acres
• Don’t expect things to happen organically. Be intentional. 

Family Fun

• The baby birds nesting in the bush on our patio
• Frank and Zach and the pool and the Water Mine. Zach calls it the Water Mind
• Frank and Zach and Udvar Hazy and the pool and biking
• Zach and Susan went into DC to see Drumfolk. (It's the story of the Stono Rebellion of 1739 and the Negro Act of 1740 and tells the story through dance of how from drumming, working in a rhythm, drumlines, beatboxing, and scratching, were born of necessity and innovation. Very powerful. Zach liked the dance that used a whistle best.) It was so good, and he was such a good audience member! Afterwards, we got ice cream and he played in a splash pad
  

Good Food

• Strawberry and Oreo milkshakes from Potbelly’s for the last day of school
• The Corner Store blueberry muffins
• Before and After’s chicken salad croissant
• Cherries
• Emily's lentils and fresh veg/herb white beans - Delightful
• Spread (cottage cheese, scallions, mustard, walnuts)

Connection

• Uber buddies beach trip with Kate, Stephen, Mary Kay, and Hance
• Continued check-ins with Cat and Jason re: surgeries and breast cancer
• Tracey from work
• Card from Joy at work
• Dinner with Sam, Julia, and Zahra
• Dinner with Jeff, Sam, and Penni and Frank and Zach met Jeff and Sam for a hike at Great Falls
• A video call one evening with Sam
• Zach visited Mom and Dad
• Paige and helping each other through
• Nicole-Joy and connection; we had a great time sharing about our journals as a teenager!
• Zach and I had dinner with Katie and Suji
• Talked with Kathleen and Meredith
• Yvette and her beautiful photo (a view of Lake Michigan) from her b’day gathering
• Frank and Zach to Lake Anna with the cousins
• Two farmer’s market Saturday fun days with Mary and Cora
• July 2nd family picnic at Auntie Em’s 
• July 4th family picnic in Brevard, NC. My first fireworks in years
• Drive down to Connestee Falls and time with Van, Meredith, and Mary Pepper

Fun and Not So Fun

Personal

• Working through challenges and invisibility and how to advocate for myself with friends and family. Since things don’t happen organically, I advocated for what I needed and got time to chat with Annie. Go me! Time heals, but it’s tough to get through it. 
• A reference to Clue: “flames, creeping up the side of my face.” In the movie, everyone ignores her and keeps going! That sounds familiar.
• Frank as an advocate for me!
• My writing retreat; so good except for So. Many. Flies. 
• I enjoyed hiking all around on roads and trails just below Shenandoah National Park
• Every day I ran into people on my remote roads/trails, so someone would have seen me. 
• My writing was not as focused or productive as 2021, but the three-day weekend was restorative. See priorites below.
• Reading: Finished Pachinko, Fan Girl, 1619
• Audio Book: Finished Peak Mind and No Hard Feelings; started Scary Smart, Thrive, and We Dream of Space (with Zach)
• Podcasts: Many fewer because of practicing more mindfulness on walks, Mo Gawdat interview, Well-Read Black Girl, Teaching Hard History, Become a Good Ancestor, Ten Percent Happier
• Music of the Carolina Chocolate Drops and Adia Victoria from Teaching Hard History
• Watching: Kim’s Convenience and Colin in Black and White
• Power of breathing from Daniel Goleman on Ten Percent Happier that Buddhism doesn’t emphasize altering breathing, but Indian tradition does and it looks like belly breathing can be powerfully effective
• Paige shared an article from The Atlantic: We can, in fact, find immense fullness when we pay attention to smaller and smaller things. The Buddhist master Thich Nhat Hanh explains this in his book The Miracle of Mindfulness: “While washing the dishes one should only be washing the dishes, which means that while washing the dishes one should be completely aware of the fact that one is washing the dishes.” Why? If we are thinking about the past or future, “we are not alive during the time we are washing the dishes.” 
• I like the idea of imagining yourself happy and satisfied in 5 years, what is there, and how do you get to that!
• Inspirational Statements that I love: "It's just a for now, not a forever"
• I got my first free Life with Cancer massage and it was okay. I experienced sharp pains. 
• Attended Self-Compassion Facebook Live event and Noon Mindfulness workshop
• Talked with https://learnmindfulnessnow.com/ about learning mindfulness to teach others

Not So Fun

• Roe v. Wade overturned. So sad, disappointing, discouraging, and upsetting, so I started a recurring donation to National Network of Abortion Funds 

Professional

• Working with Ian in talking through our DEIB next steps with consultants. He posted on LinkedIn how valuable this was for him. Awww…nice!
• Onsite/offsite with the team. Nice to meet everyone in person and we did a Pinot’s Palette painting event. Pretty cool. Saw Ashley R. in the office

Priorities as of 6/20/22

1. Daily intention: Health, Purpose, Connection

1. Health & Purpose: Teach mindfulness, kindness, compassion, and how to be a good human.

1. 12 mins of mindfulness daily (what I’m doing for health, connection, purpose - talk to; don’t avoid neighbors and intention with Zach (what are you looking forward to and what is your intention, etc., doing nice things for others, roses and thorns)

2. What’s on your mind? And what else? What is the real challenge here for you? What does support look like? What was useful for you?

3. ARC content

4. Gifts of Imperfection pod squad - group text with a high and low for the day or rose and thorn to then be able to follow up. 

5. Continue roses and thorns, loving kindness and ending and beginning the day with thanks and gratitude

2. Connection: Make space for connection

2. Seek out opportunities to interact with a truly diverse group. 

1. Around food?

2. Marches and social activism - Roe v. Wade, ERA, Black Lives Matter

Magical Days and More

Zach of Note

• ABC Mouse, Starfall, memory games, and stories in the morning when he wakes early
• He chooses activities and connection so often. It's great. 
• Parachute man at Algonkian and Lake Fairfax and launching weed heads at Lake Fairfax (Zach really worked hard at trying to figure out how to launch by himself.)
• A visit to the hideout - just me and Zach 
• Zach went to bed at 7pm one night while he was sick with a bad cold (not COVID, and we got to meet a new doctor at his pediatrician's office, whom I really liked!) 
• Zach's snapping is so loud! At first he could only snap with one hand, but now he's perfected it with both hands. 
• Great Falls hike

• Magical Mother's Day
• Taking the bus with Frank to Udvar Hazy
• Zach's passport!

• Metro with me to get beignets and ride as the journey

• Lake Anne fun
• Penny wars
• Fun Run

• Fieldtrips to Clemyjontri and the Leesburg Animal Park (Frank chaperoned)
• Ring holder pottery that he made!
• One of the other K teachers told Frank that Zach was a "treasure."

• Soccer: Fenton, Marcel and his earnest and sincere 3x apology, the trash talking Australia kids, Niko's family referred to Zach as "The Closer."
• Zach continues to make me breakfast!
• Zach got his booster on 5/27 and had a reaction or came down with another cold! (Not COVID)
• The Water Mine!!!! Zach and I picked up the season passes, and we had a blast watching outside

Zach's Words and Songs

• Story Pirates; Who, When, Wow (esp episode on Sacagawea cracked me up); and Cairo
• Singing a lot of songs from music class (London Bridge, etc.)
• I drilled Zach on high frequency words, and he was so into it for one day. 
• He has gotten into military-type things, "sir, yes, sir," and saluting me from the bus 
• Books: You Choose books, Girls Survive books and intense situations (fire at the circus in the 1800's), Treasure Chest, Mercy Watson, and When Stars are Scattered
• Hey Man game instead of "Hangman." I had never thought about how inappropriate "Hangman" is
• One evening he wrote a persuasive argument about why he should get a hamster
• Words of affirmation to me! I love you Mommy, I love your hair, etc. 

Empathy Corner

• Gratitude, intention, and loving kindness meditation together
• I sat with Zach in his sadness the week that his field trip and soccer practice and games were all canceled or postponed.
• Zach apologized to his friend, Ivan and Laurie (bus dirver). He said a bad word (provided by and at the insistence of Thomas) to his friend, Ivan, on the bus. Zach was sitting with Thomas instead of in his normal assigned seat because Laurie trusted him to behave.
• Zach and handling his soccer passion and expertise. He is really good and says things like, "I'm the best," and "I won the game." There are others who want to play and have a chance to score! And there are people who help you to score and play well!
• Reading about Ida B. Wells, which brought up some pretty serious topics (slavery and the idea that some slavery was "better" than other kinds. I said that was not a thing. All slavery was bad and wrong. The book also mentioned lynching and how Ida tried to be involved in the push for women's rights, but that movement did not wholly embrace women of color. Zach noted that I was a white woman like the women who did not welcome Ida into the movement.)
• We also read about Crazy Horse that discussed attacks by U.S. troops on Native Americans and scalping. Yikes. I keep expecting that I might scar him.
• Our latest book, When Stars are Scattered, talks about two Somali brothers growing up in a refugee camp in Kenya

What I Working on

• Giving time and grace. Sigh. 
• The Misses: 
• Mike (staying active?), Mary (Oh, yes, I knew about your mastectomy and just didn’t acknowledge it in any way.)
• Sharing pain and having three reactions, two invalidating: iphone "Loved" my pain, urged me to "let it go," and the good one shared her own painful experience.
• Sharing your feelings doesn't make the conversation about you, it allows people to understand what you're feeling to better connect. 
• I started on my Social Justice chronicle
• Revolutionary Love opportunities
• The organizations of iheartprinciples and Mind Over Tech
• Tips: Set healthy boundaries, mono task, responsible use of tech
• There are good things about masculine and feminine. Champion the feminine in places where masculinity has been elevated as better or "right." 
• Be in the present: Listen to birds, hear feet on the ground, etc. 
• Seek friends in passions: dance, Zumba, learning, food, growth, writing
• Doing mindful/meditation practice is better than learning about why it's important!
• As a society, we're learning about the benefits of mental training now like we learned about heart health and physical fitness benefits many years ago. 

Family Fun

• Land for sale near Suttons Bay, MI! Should we buy it? 
• Castle Panic
• Carpet picnics and The Inbestigators (The best show!) and Project MC2 on Netflix
• Crust pizza at the outdoor deck at Aslin one weekend and for Zach's half birthday
• Hike on Hazel River Trail, so much fun! Shoes off at stream crossing and then just wearing our shoes on the way back. 

Connection

• Cookies to Jonathan, Susan, and Lindy and to Auntie Em
• Note with cookies was "great," from Jonathan
• Dinner with Auntie Em and Emily's Wonderlab
• Visits with the foster kitties, Pearl, Moonstone, and Onyx
• Visit to Mom and Dad for Zach
• Uber Ladies gathering at Wolf Trap. Thanks, all, for traveling to me and thanks to Mary Kay for organizing
• Met up with Susan K.'s friend, Cat, and offered my genetics, cancer, and mastectomy story
• Catch ups with: Sofia, Greer, Paige (Values and more)
• Walk with Katie and "Apparently, I have a coaster problem."
• Visit and lunch with Adrienne
• Thanks to Emily R. for book and soup
• Food delivery to Emily R., Auntie Em, and Katie and Suji
• Work: Nikki, Faith, Tracey, Eva, and Ash
• Kathy from PT

Fun and Not So Fun

• Zumba and Kathy Smith with new exercises from PT 
• NKOTB videos from their current tour. So good! What a fun evening. I just watched and smiled :)
• Vacation and camps scheduled!
• Bathroom project underway!
• Graduated from PT!
• Books: Free Food for Millionaires, Pachinko, Think Like a White Man, Unbound
• Audio Books: Peak Mind, Sovala Nolan, Ain't Burned All the Bright
• Podcasts: Unlocking Us and Dare to Lead until hiatus in early May, Teaching Hard History, Becoming a Good Ancestor is back!, SloMo, Black Belt voices, Well-read Black Girl, On Being, Ten Percent Happier and Stephanie Foo interview
• Movies/Series: finished Who Killed Malcolm X, Amend: The Fight for America, Atlas of the Heart, The Color Purple, Sweet Magnolias, Inventing Anna, Maid, Kim's Convenience (esp Season 2 was really funny; I laughed out loud at most episodes), Penguin Bloom, Divided We Fall (Valarie Kaur)
• Hard stuff: 
• Felt overwhelmed twice (4/26 and 5/27)
• Tired and cried and cried. Dr. Hammer said she hoped I was seeing someone about that. Also, she agreed acupuncture could work, but "don't puncture a lung." Hmm...I wonder how she really feels
• Discomfort continued until 5/4 and then pretty much just gone. Coincidence, I think, but did have one session of desensitization therapy at PT on 5/4. (7 weeks and 2 days post-surgery)
• Visit to Dr. Bruce's office at Riverside Clinic on 5/5 was really tough. I journaled angrily. 
• Some anxiety and poor sleep before my colonoscopy on 5/11
• Feel like Frankenstein
• How do I share with people now? I let some know, but couldn't tell everyone, and what does that look like? 
• Lessons Learned: 
• Gratitude, intention, grateful for what I did and what others have done
• More questions: What impact does this have on you? What meaning would this have for you? What does support look like? 
• Remember to journal re: pain
• Think about what I want from friends
• Imagine/write out the conversation
• Sofia and her gratitude that I'm modeling how to ask for help and showing how we need each other.
• Clear is kind and setting an example - MKC
• Suffering is a part of life
• Choose action over inaction
• I LOVE the idea that if you're in the present, you can't regret the past or be anxious about the future. If you're enjoying the book you're reading, you're in it. 

Good Food

• No more processed meat for me. The Saville Center said I could still have the occasional deli meat or bacon or sausage on a rare or special occasion. I am not a big meat eater, but pepperoni, prosciutto, salami, Italian sausage have been favorites. If I'm having pizza, I love those meats on the pizza.
• No more alcohol so far (nothing since February 4). This has been surprisingly easy, but I look at others drinking and I'm a bit nostalgic. However, drinking does impact how I feel, and I try to remember that it's not like it once was! 
• Salmon avocado Caesar salad from Cafesano. So good!
• Peanut noodles
• Thompson Italian brunch with Auntie Em
• Thompson Italian Mother's Day meal with mushroom quiche, cauliflower salad, home fries with aioli, yogurt parfaits, and the raspberry almond double-baked brioches. Wow!
• Mother's Day waffles from Auntie Em
• Bok choy, mushrooms, garlic sauce, egg, and a Bottoms Up Bagel with cream cheese and a dash of lemon juice. (Thanks, Mary Kay!)
• Hex's turmeric kraut
• Firehook bakery treats
• Blueberry muffins from the Corner Grocery

Life While Healing

Zach of Note

• Lost two front teeth
• Kitchen soccer continues and dodgeball newspaper epic
• Parachute man
• Spring Break camp: the game, Medic and mask making!
• Visits to Gamma and Daddy Bob's and Grandad's
• Katie and Suji took Zach to Lifetime and he had a blast playing basketball and rock climbing

• Kite flying - so fun and Zach drew a picture of it!
• Back to Great Country and Udvar Hazy continues to be super-fun for Frank and Zach
• Zach and Frank met up with a family from Israel and played soccer with them a couple times. The boys are 8 and 10. 

• Zach and soccer! He loves it so much, and he's really good. Two Zach's on his team (Zachariah and Zachary). He could also go with the nickname "Ziti" for initials: ZD. Thougths?! He legit cried one Saturday because he loves it so much and is so sad to wait from Sat to Wed. 
• Zach's first field trips are coming on May 6 and May 13. He is SUPER-excited
• Passport photos and interview at long last!
• The pottery bowl he made before winter break turned back up again, and they were working on painting/glazing it.
• Zach and I went to Meadowlark together and that was very fun. He picked the route and we had a snack by the koi pond

Zach's Emotion Skills

• He makes me breakfast
• He rubbed my feet one night, and asked if he did a better job than Daddy. Teehee
• He is like his mom and cries when he's tired
• I try to let him live in the pain/discomfort. Reslilience is built by making it through hard things

Zach's Words and Songs

• Zach asked me about the word tacky re tacky/wacky day.
• A tisket a tasket a green and yellow basket...I wrote a letter to my love, and on the way I dropped it....
• Snapping 
• Zach told us an involved story about Tigey stealing Huskey's ice cream and the "consequences." They all get ice cream on certain days (Huskey and BeBe and Tigey and Fala), and Snaker (Mom) takes them to dinner on Wednesdays. Reindeer (Dad) does not go to the Wednesday dinner. 
• We really love The Inbestigators!
• Reading: Kate DiCamillo's Mercy the porcine wonder and "toast with a great deal of butter" is a joke! Also, Lola Levine books, Soccer 'Cats books (I have learned a lot about soccer), Ms. Frogbottom books
• Podcasts: Amanda Weldon, Story Pirates, Wow in the World, and Who When Wow - esp learning about Jim Thorpe
• Zach actually said, "Lemonade is the best drink, aside from water."
• Zach made and Earth Day crown and told me he doesn't like paper napkins because you only use them once. I encouraged him to take a cloth napkin to school and he did!

Sleep Update

Zach is coming in to my room to sleep. Sleep training AGAIN is in my future, but we have a nice time chatting and sometimes doing loving kindness meditation. It's too sweet to stop while I'm not working and not needing to get up early to work.

On the weekends, if he takes a nap, he comes in to sleep with me, so often on Saturday nights at 9pm

Good Food

• Agathe's apple kiwi compote
• Siga's lentil soup, Lithuanian bread, and cookies (pecan sandie-like)
• Rachel's pot pie
• Crumbl Cookie Cafe - WOW
• Chocolate peanut butter cookies
• Indian chickpea chili on a few throw back to winter days
• So many good egg dishes (veggie burgers, bok choy, garlic dressing, chard, eggs and bread)
• Yummy peanut noodles and French Toast casserole
• Enatye's Ethiopian
• Salmon and avocado caesar
• Mary Kay's homemade granola bars
• Synergy's California Citrus kombucha is SO GOOD!

Connection

• At trip with Frank down to Sperryville. We walked around the Inn at Little Washington, on the Thorton River Trail, and sat outside with RPK pizza at Pen Druid
• Crumbl cookies for Vero and Susan, Jonathan, Lindy and me and Zach too!
• Time with Mary Kay and our chosen connection word is "Montreal."
• Paige's visit: egg dyeing, mean games of Hide and Seek, and laughs about "licking the problem" from Zach's Kick It book and "Stop talking about the babka!"
• Auntie Em on may occassions, including mocktails at Tiki Thai and Raleigh bakery items. So lucky!
• Thank you notes to neighbors for food and sweets! 
• So grateful for the gifts, food, gift cards; Nikki from work checked in
• Ramadan Kareem
• Walk with Katie
• Call from Sofia

Family Fun

• Frank and I finished Station Eleven and got Ethiopian again. 
• Auntie Em is fostering kitties

Easter

• Easter Egg hunt indoors and outdoors and egg dyeing with Paige
• Treehouse books for Easter (26 and 91)

Fun and Not So Fun Stuff (Personal and Professional)

• Auntie Em's appointments and scanxiety
• Plans to have our Lynch tracked with the newly opened Saville Center
• A dried out gourd
• My Giving Tree is framed!
• Photos and art hung!
• Goodbye to another of the older generation, Virginia
• Zumba one day, but the recovery is definitely slow. I am taking care of Zach, but still surprising. 
• With cancer, I qualify for my second booster
• I got my Real ID taken care of too, though I went to the wrong location. Oh, Susan. 

Recovery

• It's an interesting journey. Right after I got my drains out, I felt SO good, but I think that was just in comparison. Since then it's been 2 steps forward and 1 step back. 
• Don't forget to watch pet videos or any funny videos when I'm anxious! It's good to envision and anticipate the post worst-case scenario, and then decompress with funny and distracting media
• I think have allodynia and that discomfort builds and builds. https://www.mayoclinic.org/tests-procedures/mastectomy/expert-answers/pain-after-breast-surgery/faq-20058049. Therefore, extended Short-Term Disability for 2 more weeks
• Compression, not enough, too much, numbness
• PT has been really great! I have a weak grip and am working on strengthening that. I am more aware of looking down at screens and have readjusted my desk. I prop up my Kindle on pillows, and my PT person said I had good posture. I don't know that that is really true, but I am thinking about shoulders back and good posture. 
• Art therapy and music therapy
• Cried about coasters. Yeah.

Books: 

• Gabrielle Union's You Got Anything Stronger
• Clint Smith's How the Word is Passed
• Suzanne Simard's Finding the Mother Tree
• Susan Cain's Bittersweet
• Min Jin Lee's Free Food for Millionaires

Movies/Series: 

• Book of Love
• Atlas of the Heart (3/5)
• Malcolm X
• Who Killed Malcolm X (2 episodes)
• In Our Mother's Gardens
• The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
• Heartland Season 14
• Sweet Magnolias
• MOVE (Ep. 1)
• Eurovision Song Contest: The Story of Fire Saga

Podcasts/Audio Books

• Amishi Jha's Peak Mind
• Kate DiCamillo on On Being
• Black Belt podcast
• Unlocking Us, Dare to Lead
• Well-Read Black Girl
• Become a Good Ancestor - Layla Saad is back!
• Teaching Hard History
• A Slight Change of Plans

What I'm Grappling with...

• Resilience is working through hard stuff. My pain is not less important than someone else's discomfort
• Practicing perspective-taking when I can
• Working on accurately naming my emotions, like unarticulated expectations
• Daily tracking of brasica, plums, turmeric, probiotics + PT, grip strengthening exercises, Loving Kindness Meditation, and 12 mins of meditation; might add: nuts, shitakes, berries, seeds
• On a daily basis, not just Loving Kindness Meditation, but also what will I do for my health, connection, and prupose
• Trying to meditate 12 mins/day. That's hard. Best run was 10 days in a row

Everything that you love you will eventually lose, but in the end, love will return in a different form. --Franz Kafka